Thomas was supposed to come back tonight, but apparently his mistress's husband returned from his trip earlier than expected, so he returned last night instead. He's not sure how long he's going to stay -- it could be days, weeks, or months. I may be out before he is! And then we have to sell the house.
The dark cloud of doom and gloom has returned. It's very stressful. The negativity is palpable. He was like this before, but I always minimized and rationalized his behavior. It will be a challenge to live together while we continue along the path to divorce. If he's going to be here, at least he could try to be pleasant. A cider or bit of wine makes him nearly tolerable.
Yesterday I went birding with a few friends, leaving work early. Some short-eared owls had been sighted, so off we went. After seeing them fly around a bit, we lucked out on one that was standing in a ditch on the side of the road, only about 15 feet from our car! We watched him for a few minutes until he took off. Simply breathtaking!
After that enjoyable experience, I had to return home to Thomas. Not fun. We came to an agreement on the property settlement, in an attempt to avoid going to litigation on the divorce. We wrote it out and both signed it, so hopefully he will uphold his word this time. As opposed to the part of our marriage ceremony where he promised to forsake all others. You might be able to see that I'm not overly optimistic about this! I didn't get what I feel I deserve, but it's reasonable and two lawyers told me that if we could agree to this, I'd be better off than taking my chances with litigation where I'd probably get a bit more but with lawyers' fees and the stress of litigation.
Despite my negative tone in this entry, I am doing quite well. My eyes have been opened and I've reviewed our relationship. There's a big difference between sharing values and sharing hobbies. We certainly shared hobbies, but our values are opposite. I value honesty, integrity, family, kindness to animals and people, etc. I'm really lucky to escape from this relationship at a relatively young age, so I still have years of happiness ahead of me.
I have some leads on jobs (mine ends on March 31) and hopefully will secure something in the next month or so. Once I know where I will be working, I can rent an apartment and Max, Calypso, and I can move out.
Once again, my family and friends (including all of you!) have stepped up and have helped me through this process. I have been overwhelmed with how supportive and loving everyone has been. I have heard more compliments in the past 6 weeks than in the previous year. No one can understand how/why this happened. And if they met her, they'd understand even less!
The past few years have absolutely flown by, so now I'm hoping the next 6 months do as well. I am excited about my new life and can't wait to get started! It's just hard to do here with him around. I feel like I'm currently stuck in neutral and I just want to move on.