Friday, November 30, 2012

I'm alive! And actually fabulous!

Thanks to those of you who have posted, wondering how I am.  It's hard to believe, but in less than a week, it's the one year anniversary of finding out Thomas was cheating on me!

This should have been the worst year of my life, but it's turned out to be one of, if not, the best!  When you're married to an anti-social, emotionally abusive person, reality can get a bit skewed, to say the least!  I never would have left him, as marriage is forever in my mind, so in a very odd way, I have become grateful that he cheated on me so that I could reevaluate and really start living life.

Of course, I really wish that he were even half the man I made him out to be in my mind, or even that he could have given me a small inkling that he was unhappy so we could have tried to save the marriage; barring that, I wish that he hadn't been able to legally steal so much money from me in the divorce, but I am young and will rebuild!

I'd fallen out of the habit of posting, and now I'm sad that I don't have a better record of the past year, which means that one of my goals for 2013 will be to get much better at updating the blog.

Everyone is doing really well.  We've established our new routines, and the parrots (and Andreas) are thriving.

After pretty much never going out during the past 13 years (see: anti-social husband), I've been making up for lost time.  I have plans most nights of the week, and have stayed out past 2 am more times this year than in the previous decade.

My family and friends have really stepped up.  I've made new friends, strengthened old friendships, and just enjoyed not having to walk on eggshells or to attempt to placate someone who was incapable of happiness.  

My running continues to improve.  I again qualified for the Boston Marathon, and several friends and I are planning a trip out there for the 2014 race.  I haven't quite had enough time as I'd like for my other hobbies, but I still try to paint, knit, and read regularly.

Yesterday, I had a very promising first date with a lovely man.  He used to work with a very dear friend of mine.  As this blog is anonymous, I can admit that I spent far too much time convincing myself that it would be inappropriate for me to rip his shirt off in the restaurant. I'm still not sure I made the right decision to behave :)

And now I'm heading off to a friend's house.  She is making me dinner to thank me for helping her move earlier in the year.  The parrots are in bed, and all is calm and happy in the apartment.

More soon, promise!


Suzanne said...

So good to hear that you are doing so well. Sometimes our worst nightmares turn into the best things to ever happen to us, I am glad this has turned into one of those things. :D

Margaret & Monsters said...

I like to read your blog. I'm also "happy" divorced and parrot lover. I'm glad you was able to move on and enjoy your new life!

Keep it that way!!!
Margaret & Monsters

Anonymous said...

so glad you continue posting i don't often comment, but thought i would let you know i lurk about for the next instalment

Mary said...

Thank you all for your nice comments.

A year ago I was near suicidal, and now I've realized the divorce was one of the best things that ever could have happened to me.

I was existing; now I'm living.

I so wish I could go back in time, shake the 20-year old me, and tell me to pay attention to the red flags that were waving around Thomas!

But since that is impossible, I will just be happy that things are turning out the way they should.

You are all just the best; it really means a lot to me when someone posts such a nice, thoughtful comment.

Anonymous said...

Oh God, I had no idea you felt suicidal! I am so sad you couldn't have shared your feelings with me. I would have listened anyway and done whatever to help you through the horrible time you were going through. You always sounded so strong. I am so glad you are still here!!! <3 Barb