In which Max disapproves of my decorating...

Amazon sometimes feels like it gets me, like when it suggests I buy some butterflies. However, Max does not always agree, and she shows her disagreement by eating my art supplies:

Luckily for me, I was able to use it anyway!

Quarterly (?) Update

I'm not even sure it's fair to mention me and the word "blogger" in the same sentence, since I have done so little of it in the past few years. But I frequently think about something I'd like to post here, if only so that I can reflect on life in the future.

So again, I am going to try to recommit to posting more frequently.

This summer has been incredible.  I took level 2 of the CFA exam in June, and found out in July that I had passed!  Only one more level left -- I'm taking it in June 2017 -- and then I will be done with tests forever.  I hope.  Which means that after nearly a year of nonstop studying for levels 1 and 2, I've been enjoying myself, mostly stress-free, this summer.

Max turns 15 next week.  I purchased her from a breeder before I knew about the plight of captive parrots, but it is Max that led me into the interesting world of parrots.  She's sitting on the arm of my couch, a few inches from me, contentedly grinding her beak.  We'll probably spend the next few decades of our lives together, barring any accidents or surprise poor health on either of our parts.

Things with my boyfriend are still going well.  I need a blogname for him!  I'm not feeling particularly creative tonight, so I will simply call him J.  We recently celebrated a year together and are planning a trip to Hawaii in a few months.  Where I will run a marathon (along with some friends) and he will relax.  I will also relax.

A few years back, a man who has become one of my best friends gave me a dozen yellow roses for Valentine's Day.  He was delivering flowers to his husband (my coworker and another one of my best friends, though not quite at the time of this story) and he didn't want me to feel left out.  Since that time, I've saved all of the roses anyone has given me.  J knows this, so he gave me a gorgeous bouquet for our anniversary.  I plucked one out and put it in one of my favorite vases:

I bought it from a local potter when my art museum was having an art fair, and it brings me joy every day, even while empty.

As I type this, I'm watching the World Series.  Baseball is so calming, and I particularly love playoff baseball.  There is a movie (you can currently find it on Netflix) called "Fastball" that I highly recommend to anyone who loves the game.  I can hardly believe that the Indians made it this year -- I cannot tell you how many times I've watched "Major League" over the years.

Max has flown back to her cage, and is preoccupied with a toy she found in a bucket I attach to the side of her cage, filled with components that have broken off of other toys, like beads.  Calypso is playing happily inside his cage, even though his cage door is open.  I had to trim his beak a couple of days ago, and he may still be holding a bit of a grudge.  He'll get over it :)

As the days get shorter, and the weather colder, I am finding myself already missing summer.  And I have to wait quite a few more months until it appears again.  I've stocked up at my local bookstore, and am hoping to spend many evenings curled up with a good book.

Max has now returned to the arm of the chair, and is daintily trying to get my attention so I will scratch her head.  If I continue to ignore her, she will become more insistent, so I will oblige her before it comes to that.  It's really quite amazing to me the relationship we've formed over the past nearly 15 years.  I can predict how she's going to behave, and she'd probably say the same thing about me.

Woodcarving!

Part of my post-divorce life is actually experiencing different things that life has to offer.  This fall, one of those things was taking a wood carving class through the rec department.  I learned how to make an owl:

Before and after:

She is now part of my owl collection at my office.  I'm trying to decide if I liked wood carving enough to take another class in it this winter.  The teacher was amazing, but I did get a blister on my finger from pushing the knife into the hard wood.  Even if I never carve another piece of wood again in my life, I have the memory and experience of doing so.

Another beer fest

My parents and I, sometimes with other guests, have gone to a beer fest every year since it started in 2010. Therefore, 2014 was our 5th year doing this. As always, so much fun. My parents are great sports and are probably doing things in their 60s with me that they never imagined they would be doing. The divorce was good for my entire family!

Have you ever heard of Beard Beer?  When I was at my local liquor store, they told me about it, but it sounded so disgusting that I didn't buy any.  After thinking about it for a few months, and deciding to play a trick on my parents, I went back to buy some but they were out of it and not planning on getting any more.  I figured my chance to try it was over.

But I hadn't considered the beer fest!

They had it, and it was surprisingly good.

For those not in the know, they found the yeast for this beer in the beard of one of the workers.  Pictured on the bottle.  My dad wouldn't try it, but my mom and I agreed that it just tasted like pretty good regular beer!

This beer fest happens to be on the same weekend as a big street festival about two blocks away.  So, even though we'd been drinking most of the afternoon, we headed over to the festival.  There is a bar in my town that is known for its international theme -- I went here to watch many of the World Cup games.  I told my dad that it was one of the hippest bars in town (you can tell I am not hip as I actually said that to him), and he responded, "That's why we're here, of course!"

So he went to buy us what we didn't need: another beer.

We ran into some friends at the street festival, and had a great time. Finally, we decided it was time to go home, so started walking.  But first, I wanted to show my parents the amazing house that two of my very good friends just bought and renovated.  They weren't home, so I texted them, they gave me the garage code, and we took a tour.  What a fun evening!

And then we stopped on the way home for some pie:

We had a great evening.  My parents spent the night at my house, and my dad had his first good night's sleep in months.  (I have an amazing bed -- trying to get them to buy one -- and my dad needed surgery -- which he had and which was successful.)

Short stories

Still working my way through the summer...I figure in 30 years I'll be glad these pictures are out there.

My friends were hosting a gala to raise money for LGBT charities.  I received an invite, and had to find the perfect outfit...

Unfortunately, I was having too much fun and didn't get any pictures taken of me wearing it; I just have this one I was taking to send to a friend for advice on which dress to wear:

The gala was the most successful one ever, and I had a great time.  I can't tell you how many times I was told that I looked fabulous!  This will definitely become an annual event for me -- I'm already on the lookout for a dress for next year!

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I was driving along a busy road when I saw something that just didn't look right.  On second glance, I saw a baby robin -- way too small to be out of the nest -- right in the middle of traffic!  Again, I stopped my car, so happy that he didn't get run over until I could get to him.  I wasn't able to locate his nest (he'd fallen from a tall tree), so I put him in a planter.  I don't know what happened to him, but I am telling myself that his parents were able to find him and keep him safe.

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I have always wanted a globe.  While at a consignment furniture shop, I found one!  I think it looks really nice in front of my fireplace.  This fireplace is currently not operational, but in the near future, I will attempt to convert it over to gas.  It was at one point, but apparently something happened.

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Sometimes when I'm cooking dinner, I feel a gentle pressure on my foot, and look down to find a friend:

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Pina coladas!  These were so amazing, and someday I will figure out how to perfect this recipe!

Early Summer Beer Fest

I live in a town with a fair number of beer fests. I also now live on the side of town in which most fun activities happen, which means that I can bike to most of these fests! My best friend, her friend from high school (who has now become my friend), and I went to a beer fest towards the beginning of the summer. We'd started the day with a 15 mile run, so we were definitely ready and thirsty when it started. Also happened to run into other friends there!

The taps from one of my favorite breweries (I must admit, I'll frequently buy the beer solely for the nature-themed names and pictures on the holder!)

An ingenious way to carry your beer around in my neighborhood -- though you'd run the risk of theft, depending on what type of beer you're carrying...

Cheers!

Things are so good - weekend recap - rambing!!!

A rambling post, most likely.  And one with no pictures!

Friday it was quite rainy here, so I aborted my attempt to bike to work after two blocks (I'm in a very conservative, professional firm so they frown on me arriving sopping wet!)  I decided to take the bus in and let fate decide how I'd get home.

It was beautiful around 5:00 pm, so I decided that I would run the three miles home.  I always keep a set of running clothes at work in case I ever need to exercise mid-day.  This planning paid off!

As I was running home, I realized that I am currently the happiest that I have ever been in my entire life.  And then I started thinking about how my life had changed so much in the past few years.  I was near suicidal when I found out that Thomas had been cheating on me.  I really thought my life was finished.  I'd put all of my attention into him (misguided!) and I'd neglected myself.  Never again!  This entire journey has shown me how I have amazing parents, wonderful friends, and a great life.  I never would have left him if he hadn't cheated on me.  Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like had he just remained faithful.  I would have stayed and had just been a shell of myself. I may have even become an alcoholic.

A couple of weeks ago, I took a day off of work, spent the night at my parents' house, and the day shopping with my mom.  I had such a great time!  My dad keeps the wine flowing, so we started having some interesting conversations (after some cards, of course!)

I had thanked my parents for being such great parents.  I've observed that I'm truly lucky in being born to my mom and dad.  I grew up super poor, but I always knew I was loved, and had essentially an idyllic childhood.  My dad started talking about parenting, and said, "I think that the best thing your mom and I did for you kids is..."

At this point I expected some sort of profound announcement -- "...the fact that we emphasized education" or "...the unconditional love that we had for you" or the equivalent.  Instead, he said, "...introducing you to movie musicals!"  And he was serious!!!

So then I started texting my siblings so we could see what everyone's three favorite musicals were.  It's really hard to choose, but I think mine are "Guys and Dolls," "Singing in the Rain," and "The Sound of Music."  Except "1776" should be in there as well!

In any case, Friday evening I had dinner at my best friend's house.  One of our mutual friends was involved in an organization that hosts international visitors.  There were two from Georgia who were spending a few days in my town.  They came over to my friend's house, and we had dinner together.  It was fascinating learning a bit about Georgia (I really want to visit Tbilisi someday after hearing them talk about how beautiful it was!)

I ran a marathon on Saturday morning.  It was a race that Thomas and I had run together in 2011.  Because I'm finally healed, emotionally healthy, and in a happy place, it was interesting for me to note the differences.  I could talk to people!  I didn't have to revolve my race around his pace!  No one was mean to me!  (Thomas was ever the only person who was mean to me, but I made excuses and lived in a fantasy world where I pretended he actually loved me.)

I went directly from the race (after showering) to the funeral of my work friend's brother.  I've read that you need to keep professional contacts professional, etc.  Maybe it's good that I don't listen to the rules.  I have become fast friends with one of the ladies at work.  I will call her Monica.  She's closer to my mom's age than to mine, but we are kindred spirits.  I have only been at this job for about two years, but she has become an amazing presence in my life.  We tell each other, "I love you," and it's so true.  I get along so well with her husband, kids, and extended family.  It's strange what fate has in store for us!

Then, I went to my friend's house to watch the basketball game.  Of course, I was rooting for Wisconsin, and my heart was broken when Kentucky won after we were leading almost the entire game.  I should just be happy that we made it to the Final Four, but I still feel cheated.  A bit.  I walked home (how cool is it that I live just a few blocks from my best friend's house?) and was just about to fall asleep, when I got a text.

It was from one of my very good friends, who is the husband of one of my coworkers.  (We also tell each other that we love each other.  Why don't more people express their true feelings?  I love being authentic and honest with everyone!)  They were vacationing in Florida, and their cat sitter called them to tell them that their cat was not doing well.  I felt so honored that they would call me to figure out the situation!  Even though it was about 11:00 pm at night, I went over to their house, packed their cat into the cat carrier, and went to the emergency vet.  Everything went well -- the cat is stabilized -- and my friends will be back on Tuesday.

I went to bed around 2:00 am.  Do you ever feel like you're living this crazy sitcom life?

On Sunday morning (today), I met two of my good friends to go for a walk.  I didn't feel like running since I was still recovering from my marathon, and one of my friends can't run since she is recovering from an eating disorder.  We had a great talk.

When I was married, I didn't really have friends.  I had acquaintances, but  I couldn't do things with other people or I'd incur the wrath of Thomas.  I'd learned to walk on eggshells, and normalize his aberrant behavior in order to keep the peace.  After all, I believe in marriage, and was determined to make mine work.

Now, I have so many friends!  My acquaintances have turned into friends.  I've made new friends.  People who I barely knew were there for me, and still are.  And vice versa.  I've learned to be authentic and truly happy.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say by this, other than abusive relationships suck.  I didn't think I was in one, even though friends of mine told me that I was.  He didn't hit me; I'm intelligent; things are OK; right? Not so much!  I was emotionally and verbally abused.  The stories I have told have brought my friends (and me) to tears.  Why did I think it was OK for Thomas to treat me so poorly?  And the truth of the matter is that I believe so strongly in marriage being forever (no one in my family gets divorced) that I would have stayed with him.

Which brings me to the end of this message -- I had an amazing first date today.  Since I've been single, I've gone on approximately 40 first dates.  I tell my friends stories about them, and they double over in laughter, asking me to write a book.  Perhaps someday, though I suspect my experiences aren't that different from other people trying to date in their 30s. (There are a lot of weirdos out there!  But also a lot of really good people!)

Things are looking up -- if anyone is reading this and is in an abusive relationship -- things get so much better!  Surround yourself with only good, loving people!  You're worth it!!!

More concerts!

I have months to catch up on -- and this will be but a poor substitute. I will be mad at myself years from now that so many of my experiences were not logged here!

I was heading to visit a friend, and the sunset was so beautiful, I took a picture while stopped at a light.  Unfortunately, I didn't capture exactly how beautiful it was, but I'm pretty sure most people understand that.

Here is Yuna, an amazing Malaysian pop singer.  If life were fair, she would be an international star.  She has amazing talent, and I was able to meet her after the show.  What a gracious, beautiful woman.

Close-up!

After the show, one of my friends (a local radio DJ) told me to introduce myself to the owner of the venue (she pointed him out) because he had a parrot.

I did (after a bit of hijinks -- introduced myself to the wrong guy at first!) AND he offered his venue for free to use for a benefit for the parrot rescue where I volunteer.  Isn't that great?  He's had his macaw for over 25 years and he believes is parrot rescue.  We're working on something -- I hope we'll be able to raise a lot of money!

Last month, I went to see Mason Jennings, who is one of my favorite artists.  He is so multi-talented:

I won't dwell on this too much here, but when I found out Thomas was cheating on me, and I knew divorce was the only answer, I thought that my life was over.  How I had no idea that my life was really just beginning!  I missed out on so much in my 20s, but I am making up for it now!  Life is amazing!

I am alive! Things are good!

I am the worst blogger ever!  I guess it's partly because I am out having a fabulous life and not taking as many pictures as before.  Also, not as good of a parrot-owner as before, as I'm frequently out doing things and not spending all of my non-work time at home.

I feel so lucky to "know" those of you who care enough to make sure that things are OK!

This will probably come out in several posts, and, once again, I promise to try to update more regularly!!!

Some things that have been going on in my life...

As I may have mentioned before, one of the best things about finding myself single again is the vast number of acquaintances who have stepped up and become true friends.  When I was married before, I had very few friends, as my ex-husband was very anti-social and tried to isolate me.  It's only with distance that I can see how abused I was.  It's rather embarrassing, but since I'm free now, I'm able to talk about it a bit more.

Anyway, I have a dear friend -- someone I've known for almost a decade -- who became a friend after this mess.  When she and her husband go on vacation, I cat sit for them.  That's Harley on the left and Sprecher on the right.  It looks like Sprecher is an alien!

 I was driving to work one day, and this sunrise was so pretty that I had to stop to try to take a picture.

One of the best parts of what I'm calling my new beginning is going to concerts!  I have become good friends with a woman who works at several of my city's best concert venues, which means I go to a lot of shows now.  Here is Hugh Bob and the Hustle:

This winter has been brutal!  Here is what I saw out of my office window most days this winter:

 I went to see P!nk perform in concert; she is an amazing athlete:

My friend gave me tickets to see Walk Off The Earth, who did a cover of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know"   This song helped keep me sane during the darkest period of my life -- when I found out that my husband was cheating on me.  They put on an amazing show, and, in their encore, did "Somebody That I Used To Know."

I volunteer at a nature center, so when I go in to work, I get to see all kinds of birds.  In this picture, there is someone on the suet feeder (I believe it's either a Hairy or Downy Woodpecker) and someone on the other feeder.

More in subsequent posts!

Swing!

I cannot even express how much I love it when one of my parrots is hanging out on their swing.  Usually, it's one of the caiques.  In this case, it was Calypso.  Even though his door was open and he could have been hanging out on the outside of his cage, he chose to perch on a swing.  He has several in his cage, and I love it every single time.

When I see this, I fawn all over him, pick him up, and we make kiss sounds at each other.  So I'm probably reinforcing it, but I also like to think that it brings him happiness thinking about being free on swinging branches.

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Life continues to be extremely busy.  I just broke things off with the last guy I was seeing.  He was just too weird, and I had enough of that in my marriage!  However, I think that he has (inadvertently) convinced me to write a book.  It may be a book that only my friends read, but already, "That's gotta go in your book!" is being exclaimed frequently.  So many funny stories!  Right now, I'm thinking it will be fiction, but pretty much based on my past few years.  A lady who thinks she's in a fabulous marriage to her best friend, but actually he's a personality-disordered loser who cheats on her with a clone of his mom.  Then her subsequent reaction and journey into a great new life where she realizes that she was culpable in pulling the wool over her own eyes.  We'll see what happens.

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On my run this morning, my running partner and I saw a downy woodpecker.  Or maybe a hairy woodpecker.  I can never tell them apart unless I'm looking at pictures!  But it was a lot of fun and I love that my running partner loves to look at birds as much as I do!

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My dad and I have season tickets to our local NCAA basketball team.  This evening, I went to a game with him, my best friend, and my best friend's husband.  They love my parents, so we had a great time.  And, while the team was not very good last year, they are doing really well this year!  The last two games have been so well-played.  Tonight, we had great seats.  We could hear the players trash-talking and really see the physicality of the game.  I love it!  Unfortunately, the next home game isn't until next year -- nearly a month!

A present for my father

One of the things I love to do in my new life is go to author readings/book signings.  I am very lucky to live just a few blocks from one of the best independent booksellers in the nation.  I try to go to at least one reading per month, and typically buy the book.  I want to make sure they stay in business.

Recently, I went to an author appearance regarding a book about the 1985 Chicago Bears.  My dad hates the Bears, but he loves football, so I had the author inscribe the book to my dad.  The author told many interesting stories about the earlier days of football, so I'm also going to read it.  I just have to decide if I do so before or after I give the book to my dad!

I hope he takes it with the love behind it -- not sure I'd be as accepting about a book on the Toronto Blue Jays, for example.  (I am still not over the fact that they beat the Phillies in the 1993 World Series; frankly, I'm not sure I ever will be.)

The last time I had gone to a book signing was on a terrible first date.  I kind of wanted to tell the author that I was never going to see the guy again lest he think we were a couple -- he was that embarrassing.  This time, I went with a good friend, and we had a great time.  She's a huge Bears fan, and bought a copy for herself.

Catching Up!

Despite what it may seem, I have not forgotten about this blog! I am still a bit angry with myself for not posting more often, as I'd love to be able to look back and see what's been going on in my life! Yet again, I will try to post more regularly...starting NOW!!!

But, first...I must catch up with the past few months. I'll miss a lot, but hit the highlights relating to pictures I took.

In September, I ran a 50K race with one of my best friends.  She's someone I knew before I found out about Thomas's cheating, barely.  We both volunteered for our local marathon, but I never became friends with her due to Thomas's weirdness and the fact that since he didn't have any friends, he begrudged me mine.

She really stepped up, and we've become so close over the past two years.  In fact, tomorrow we are going trail running, touring a winery, and watching our NFL team at her house as her boyfriend makes us vegetarian chili. Score!

Usually, I run my own race, but we agreed that we would run this 50K (31 miles) together.  It was so much fun!  Here is what we saw near the beginning:

It turned out to be a gorgeous day, and we became even better friends due to this experience.  We crossed the finish line holding hands and collapsed in a giant hug.

Two more pictures of what we got to see during our run:

In early September, Steve Earle came to town!  I've been a big fan ever since I saw him on The Wire (best show ever to appear on TV, in case you're wondering.  I am watching Season 1, episode 4 as I write this post.)  As an aside, on a terrible first date, I met George Pelecanos, one of the writers on The Wire.  He was absolutely amazing, and made me love the show even more!

Steve's live show was every bit as wonderful as expected.  I went with my parents; I've become much closer to them throughout this ordeal, which is one of the many silver linings of finding out I was married to a sociopath and getting divorced:

This is the dessert at one of my new favorite restaurants.  I first shared it with one of my best friends (and fellow parrot-enthusiast) a few months back -- brownie with salted caramel gelato, nuts, cherry, etc.  I went back with another friend, and once I showed them the picture I had taken of my dessert earlier in the summer, they agreed to make it for me, even though it was no longer officially on the menu.  Yay!

Here's my good friend near finishing her first triathlon!  Surrounded by geese, which I loved.  Another one of our friends and I chased her around on our bikes with signs, cheering her on.  It was such a great day!

I had been on yet another bummer first date, followed by a lake cruise with friends.  I feel so lucky to live in such a fabulous city!  The views more than made up for the bad first date!

I cat-sat for my good friend and her husband.  Sprecher was watching me!

And the two of them, eating their food:

This blog was originally started to chronicle the antics of my parrots, so we will now enter that portion of this entry!

Here's Max, eating something (shocker!)  Andreas's tank is in the background.  Speaking of Andreas, he has become so much more personable recently.  He asks for me to pet his head!  I'm starting to think certain animals really can recognize evil people, which is why the parrots and Andreas are so much happier now!

And, Beeps: eating some food as well.

Calypso had climbed into Max's cage and was eating her food!  Since I always supervise, this situation was resolved without bloodshed.

Max, perched on some blankets on the couch.  She likes to be near me as I read after work.

Beeps, again.  He's actually not done as well in our new life.  I had begged Thomas to take him, since he never got along with the other birds and would prefer to be solo, but Thomas refused to take any of the parrots, or (not so shockingly), any responsibility for anything.  I had to figure everything out alone, and made what I thought were the best decisions for the parrots were at the time.  I think he feels abandoned, and hasn't rebounded as much as Calypso and Max have.

I'm still trying to eat healthy; here's a pan full of zucchini!

At my new job, I frequently have to go to fancy fundraising events.  This is a shot from a recent one.  The local professional hockey team were our servers; it was pretty exciting to be out there, sitting on the ice!

The meal (vegetarian option) was pretty, but not as tasting or filling as I'd hoped...

Also during the fall, I dog-sat one night for my closest friend and her husband.  They live only a few blocks from me, which is so convenient!  They currently have two boxers (sadly, one is nearing the end of his life.)  They have adopted me as one of their favorite humans, which is so fun!

I was trying to take a picture of Hans, but he jumped up on me and made a good picture impossible!

He always grabs a toy and tries to get me to play tug-of-war:

He wanted to go inside, but since I wanted to make sure they didn't have any accidents, I kept them outside a little longer!

So he decided to rest on their patio furniture, waiting until he could go inside again:

I tried, rather unsuccessfully, to get both of them in the photo.  The older one was coming in for some attention when the younger one pushed him out of the way:

HELLO!

A few weeks ago, some friends and I ran a 5K race that took place entirely inside a corn maze!  It was a lot of fun (though a bit hard on my knees, with the twists and turns), I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for a year, and I won first place in my age group!  To celebrate, we went to a fabulous Mexican restaurant:

On yet another bad first date, I had some more macaroni and cheese:

I am not even kidding that I could write a blog about all of my bad first dates.  I've had some good ones sprinkled in, too, so no worries!

My dad and I have season tickets to a local NCAA team; the games started recently.  We went to almost all of the games together last year, and it was so much fun!  We're hoping to make all of the games this year:

Last week Saturday, I ran another 50K -- my third of the year.  I wound up third woman!  The race was established in honor of one of my friends who is dying of cancer.  I took what I hope is one of many annual pictures with my friend and his wife (another one of my friends.)  The wife (also my friend) and I will probably run Boston together in 2015.  I have run it before, but was with Thomas (aka "The Dark Cloud of Doom and Gloom") so it wasn't much fun.  Next time, it will be for sure!

Gorgeous picture of me and my race partner running up a hill, at about mile 30.7:

After this recent 50K, there was a campfire to warm us and make us smell delicious:

After the race, my plan was to hang out at home, drink beer, and sleep in.  But one of my friends had another idea in mind.  She's in the process of leaving her abusive partner.  Since I have recent experience with this, I have tried my best to be as supportive as possible.  We went to a haunted house (even though I am terrified of them) and then did a zip line, pictured below:

Today, my parents came up and helped me to winterize my house.  We cleaned the gutters, put some plastic on windows, took out my window air conditioning unit, and played some cards. It was a great evening! 

More to come, on a more regular basis!