More concerts!

I have months to catch up on -- and this will be but a poor substitute. I will be mad at myself years from now that so many of my experiences were not logged here!

I was heading to visit a friend, and the sunset was so beautiful, I took a picture while stopped at a light.  Unfortunately, I didn't capture exactly how beautiful it was, but I'm pretty sure most people understand that.

Here is Yuna, an amazing Malaysian pop singer.  If life were fair, she would be an international star.  She has amazing talent, and I was able to meet her after the show.  What a gracious, beautiful woman.

Close-up!

After the show, one of my friends (a local radio DJ) told me to introduce myself to the owner of the venue (she pointed him out) because he had a parrot.

I did (after a bit of hijinks -- introduced myself to the wrong guy at first!) AND he offered his venue for free to use for a benefit for the parrot rescue where I volunteer.  Isn't that great?  He's had his macaw for over 25 years and he believes is parrot rescue.  We're working on something -- I hope we'll be able to raise a lot of money!

Last month, I went to see Mason Jennings, who is one of my favorite artists.  He is so multi-talented:

I won't dwell on this too much here, but when I found out Thomas was cheating on me, and I knew divorce was the only answer, I thought that my life was over.  How I had no idea that my life was really just beginning!  I missed out on so much in my 20s, but I am making up for it now!  Life is amazing!

I am alive! Things are good!

I am the worst blogger ever!  I guess it's partly because I am out having a fabulous life and not taking as many pictures as before.  Also, not as good of a parrot-owner as before, as I'm frequently out doing things and not spending all of my non-work time at home.

I feel so lucky to "know" those of you who care enough to make sure that things are OK!

This will probably come out in several posts, and, once again, I promise to try to update more regularly!!!

Some things that have been going on in my life...

As I may have mentioned before, one of the best things about finding myself single again is the vast number of acquaintances who have stepped up and become true friends.  When I was married before, I had very few friends, as my ex-husband was very anti-social and tried to isolate me.  It's only with distance that I can see how abused I was.  It's rather embarrassing, but since I'm free now, I'm able to talk about it a bit more.

Anyway, I have a dear friend -- someone I've known for almost a decade -- who became a friend after this mess.  When she and her husband go on vacation, I cat sit for them.  That's Harley on the left and Sprecher on the right.  It looks like Sprecher is an alien!

 I was driving to work one day, and this sunrise was so pretty that I had to stop to try to take a picture.

One of the best parts of what I'm calling my new beginning is going to concerts!  I have become good friends with a woman who works at several of my city's best concert venues, which means I go to a lot of shows now.  Here is Hugh Bob and the Hustle:

This winter has been brutal!  Here is what I saw out of my office window most days this winter:

 I went to see P!nk perform in concert; she is an amazing athlete:

My friend gave me tickets to see Walk Off The Earth, who did a cover of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know"   This song helped keep me sane during the darkest period of my life -- when I found out that my husband was cheating on me.  They put on an amazing show, and, in their encore, did "Somebody That I Used To Know."

I volunteer at a nature center, so when I go in to work, I get to see all kinds of birds.  In this picture, there is someone on the suet feeder (I believe it's either a Hairy or Downy Woodpecker) and someone on the other feeder.

More in subsequent posts!

Sunday

Sunday morning did not start out well.  I'd been able to avoid Thomas most of the weekend, as I stayed in my room until he left to run in the morning and he'd left for work by the time I got back from my run.  Additionally, he was out on dates with his married mistress at night, so I was back in my room by the time he got home.  The dark cloud of doom and gloom was still present in my life, but not overpowering.

And then Sunday morning happened.

Unfortunately, I was unable to avoid him as he'd gotten up later than usual to run and I had committed to volunteer at a race.  I stayed in my room until the last possible minute, but went downstairs to eat and get ready and he was still home.

Things were not openly hostile until he went to leave and saw that I'd left the key in the front door when I'd gotten back from my run the day before.  This is obviously not ideal, but we live in a very safe place and nothing had happened.  Also, he's done this dozens of times over the years and I just take out the key and don't say anything.  Obviously, it was a mistake.  In this exchange, the swear words that I will abbreviate were actual words coming from him.  Plus there were lots more peppered in -- you get the idea.

Thomas: Do you know who left the key in the front door?

Me: It must have been me since I was the last one home from running yesterday.  Sorry; it was an oversight.

T: I don't understand why you left the key in the front door?

Me: It was an accident.  I was cold and tired after a long run.  I didn't mean to.

T: Why the F did you leave the key in the door?  Are you trying to get me killed?  How can you be so irresponsible?  (More yelling/complaining/swearing/blaming,etc.)

Finally, I left my breakfast and went into the bathroom until he left.

Later that evening, when he got home, he was congratulating himself on realizing that I was upset because he's trying to be more empathetic.  Of course he wasn't hostile at all; he was just trying to let me know that I'd left the key in the door so that I don't do it again; excuses and more narcissistic excuses.  What a wonderful guy!

Now that the blinders are off, I am realizing more and more what a jerk he is.  People had been telling me for years that he was emotionally and verbally abusive to me (even some comments on the blog -- you guys are perceptive!), but I didn't believe them.  Now I can see the truth and am remember many incidents from the past where he was abusive.  I always made excuses for him -- he was tired from work, sore from his arthritis, he had a bad childhood, etc.

He should be out of the house by the end of the month, and our divorce should be final by the end of May.  I can't wait to be done with him!  I just don't understand why he's being hostile to me.  I was loyal and a great wife -- even he admits that.  He's the one who had an affair (with someone who could be a clone of his mom) and destroyed our marriage.  You'd think he'd be apologetic or at least happy since he's getting what he wants.  Instead, he's ramped up his abuse of me.

After that upsetting exchange, I went to my volunteer position, where I had a great time as I was assigned as a sentry with one of my friends.  We had to make sure that runners went the right way along the course:

It was held at a zoo, so this was our long-range view of the closest enclosure:

Zoomed in: a pacing cheetah.  Probably jealous of everyone running by!  I've done this race before, and the deer/moose get so excited.  They start circling their enclosures and running with the racers.

After our volunteer shift was over, my friend and I went for our run.  I don't even want to think what my mental state would be right now without exercise.

I am doing really well.  I will be doing much better once these things are complete: getting a job, getting an apartment, moving to the new apartment.  And I will be wonderful once these additional things are complete: selling the house, completing the divorce, never seeing Thomas again.

I'm still trying to figure out why I put up with his bad behavior for so long.  I suspect that he has a combination of antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.  I do know that I was frequently embarrassed by his behavior around other people.  Why didn't I do something earlier?  Would I have lived like this forever had he not had an affair?  I thought I was happy (I have a high happiness baseline) but can I be even happier?

My new life is beckoning!  I am changing back to my maiden name, and I've signed up for several races using my real name.  I also called the art museum to see if they could back-date my new individual membership since I was the driving force behind our membership and there are perks the longer you're a member.  I was told no, but that I could just take over the membership, so I did.  That was one little victory for me!  My new art museum membership cards, with my new name, should arrive next week.  I can't wait!