Birdwatching!

While dating, I met a wonderful man from Costa Rica. We are not meant to be, romantically, but we make great friends.  He was a tour guide in Costa Rica, and knows so much about birds and birding.  A few weeks back, we went out birding  Unfortunately, I was stuck with the camera on my iphone, but we saw a Cooper's Hawk just lounging in the water!  It's about 1/3 of the way from the left and in the middle.  You can see its reflection in the water.

I went to grab my scope, and we watched her for quite a long time.  She bathed a bit; then she flew from branch to branch.  It was just magnificent.

When I was trying to figure out how to draw an arrow on the picture (obviously, unsuccessfully), I instead found a button that would intensify the colors in my picture:

More beauty:

We're hoping to get out a few more times this fall, and will take my scope out this winter to look for migrating ducks and other waterfowl.  I can't wait!

Vacation!

I hadn't been on a true vacation since I'd been divorced -- a couple of long weekends with my best friend in order to run a marathon in another state. All of my siblings live on the west coast. They all came in to town in July in order to celebrate my dad's 65th birthday.

One of my sisters drove in with her husband, who flew back alone (she works in the school so has summers off) and the other one flew in.  We decided to drive back together -- my first real road trip!  Of course, I look at her potential itinerary and realize that we will be driving through Utah just as a marathon is taking place!  My sisters were troopers, and we slowed down our trip by half a day or so in order for me to check another state off of my list!

I didn't keep great records of where these were taken, but I believe it's in Rocky Mountain National Park.  I purchased a CD that was supposed to enhance our drive through the mountains -- and it worked!

This Clark's Nutcracker (add another one to the life list!) was begging for food; luckily we all ignored him -- he needs to be wild!

Gorgeous!  I just loved it.  I have tentative plans to go back with one of my close friends.  I can't wait!

We stopped to do a bit of birding -- more for the life list; alas, no pictures! -- my sisters aren't birders, but they were good sports about it.

This translation was in our hotel room in Utah.  It had us all confused.  We tried google translate and posting on facebook.  The next morning, I called the front desk and asked what the second language was.  He claimed that they paid someone to translate it into Spanish but they only recently found out that it wasn't actually Spanish.  We found this so funny.

I showed it to a couple of friends -- one from Colombia and another from Costa Rica and both of them said, "I do not think that is Spanish."  Perfect!

Here is a picture from Dinosaur National Monument.  There were so many dinosaur bones here that they left some in a hill so that we could see what it was like for the archaeologists.  You can touch them and everything.  Highly recommended, and pretty empty of people (especially compared to Rocky Mountain National Park!)

We continued on driving, I ran the marathon (I won an age group award of a loaf of bread!), and we eventually made it to Crater Lake.  The last time I was here, I was married, and we ran the marathon together.  This time, it was with better company and more relaxed.  Once again, so beautiful.  You just look and wonder how this is possibly real.

In Oregon, there was a lava flow that happened a long time ago and created some interesting landscapes.  We trapsed around a bit, and then went to a lava cave.  So happy to visit these places after all the mess died down.

We finally made it to Portland, where my favorite aunt and uncle live.  Among other things, we went to the Chinese garden, where I got this fortune:

Yay!

Later, back at my sister's condo, we had a great time, which included making pina coladas.

I didn't take many pictures that I can post here.  They'd just adopted a new cat, who was quite skittish and living under my guest bed.  My sister and her husband were in the living room watching TV, but I'd gone to bed since I had an early flight. 

The cat came out from under the bed and I took this picture and texted it to my sister (in the next room) but by the time she arrived, the cat was already under the bed again.  I kind of like being able to keep my parrots in cages since I know where they are at all times!

To wrap up, we had an amazing vacation, and are in preliminary planning for our next one.  I'll be a little busy next year -- running the Boston Marathon, going to France with my mom, possibly doing rim-ro-rim of the Grand Canyon with a close friend -- but someday soon, the three of us will hit the road again!

May fun

I've mentioned before that one of my goals is to run a marathon in every state.  My best friend, who also runs marathons, has agreed to run marathons in some states with me.  She will not commit to all 50!  So, earlier this year, we ran a marathon in Michigan, and then in May, we went to Ohio to run the Flying Pig Marathon.  So much fun!

I didn't really have friends before, so one of the best parts of my new beginning is all of the friendships that I've made.  I had known my best friend for about 8 years, in that we'd train for a marathon every summer.  However, we'd see each other on Saturday mornings for 13 weeks, and then not talk again until the following July.  Now, I bought a house 5 blocks from her and we see each other several times a week.

Here is a view of the bridge that will take us over to Cincinnati from Kentucky, where our hotel was:

So clever -- here are past years' posters.  This year was Pigcasso.  I love it!

We went to a baseball game, since the Reds were in town.

The guy in front of us at the ticket line really loved the Reds!

Because we had run a marathon, we got to eat a lot of delicious food:

Back home, another one of my new friends is the lead singer in a local band.  He was shockingly good!  Several of us (I brought the guy I was dating at the time) went to hear him -- there was lots of dancing and laughter!

 

Later in the month, my department was having a mini golf tournament.  I had to build a golf hole, and did so with the help of the guy I was dating at the time.  We won the prize of "Hardest Hole" which included gift certificates to a coffee shop.  I think it took me about 30 strokes to get the ball in the hole, and even that might have involved a bit of cheating (such as guiding the ball a bit more than I think is legal...)

One day, I came home and my neighbors were staring over the fence.  She said that there was a turkey who had been hanging out in my yard for hours!  You can see him at the end of my driveway -- he left once I arrived.

One of the things I do a lot now is go to concerts.  Another one of my very good friends works for a concert venue in town, so she'll invite me to see shows when she has extra tickets.

However, my boss (who is absolutely amazing) invited me to see The Indigo Girls with her since she had an extra ticket.  We had a great time and though I didn't really know their music, wound up buying their Greatest Hits CD and listen to it frequently now.

Now, to upload pictures from the rest of the summer and get up to date so I can hopefully maintain this blog more faithfully going forward.

I am sad that I didn't keep a record of what I was going through when things were so terrible for me.  However, the pain was so raw and so intense that I'm not sure I'd want to have that down in print or to ever revisit it.  Now, with distance from an abusive relationship, all I can think is how lucky I was to get out in my mid-30s.  That I still had time to find the life that I should have been living -- to experience things like friends, laughter, honest people, good sex, and so much more.  To live instead of to just exist.

More soon!

I am alive! Things are good!

I am the worst blogger ever!  I guess it's partly because I am out having a fabulous life and not taking as many pictures as before.  Also, not as good of a parrot-owner as before, as I'm frequently out doing things and not spending all of my non-work time at home.

I feel so lucky to "know" those of you who care enough to make sure that things are OK!

This will probably come out in several posts, and, once again, I promise to try to update more regularly!!!

Some things that have been going on in my life...

As I may have mentioned before, one of the best things about finding myself single again is the vast number of acquaintances who have stepped up and become true friends.  When I was married before, I had very few friends, as my ex-husband was very anti-social and tried to isolate me.  It's only with distance that I can see how abused I was.  It's rather embarrassing, but since I'm free now, I'm able to talk about it a bit more.

Anyway, I have a dear friend -- someone I've known for almost a decade -- who became a friend after this mess.  When she and her husband go on vacation, I cat sit for them.  That's Harley on the left and Sprecher on the right.  It looks like Sprecher is an alien!

 I was driving to work one day, and this sunrise was so pretty that I had to stop to try to take a picture.

One of the best parts of what I'm calling my new beginning is going to concerts!  I have become good friends with a woman who works at several of my city's best concert venues, which means I go to a lot of shows now.  Here is Hugh Bob and the Hustle:

This winter has been brutal!  Here is what I saw out of my office window most days this winter:

 I went to see P!nk perform in concert; she is an amazing athlete:

My friend gave me tickets to see Walk Off The Earth, who did a cover of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know"   This song helped keep me sane during the darkest period of my life -- when I found out that my husband was cheating on me.  They put on an amazing show, and, in their encore, did "Somebody That I Used To Know."

I volunteer at a nature center, so when I go in to work, I get to see all kinds of birds.  In this picture, there is someone on the suet feeder (I believe it's either a Hairy or Downy Woodpecker) and someone on the other feeder.

More in subsequent posts!

Swing!

I cannot even express how much I love it when one of my parrots is hanging out on their swing.  Usually, it's one of the caiques.  In this case, it was Calypso.  Even though his door was open and he could have been hanging out on the outside of his cage, he chose to perch on a swing.  He has several in his cage, and I love it every single time.

When I see this, I fawn all over him, pick him up, and we make kiss sounds at each other.  So I'm probably reinforcing it, but I also like to think that it brings him happiness thinking about being free on swinging branches.

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Life continues to be extremely busy.  I just broke things off with the last guy I was seeing.  He was just too weird, and I had enough of that in my marriage!  However, I think that he has (inadvertently) convinced me to write a book.  It may be a book that only my friends read, but already, "That's gotta go in your book!" is being exclaimed frequently.  So many funny stories!  Right now, I'm thinking it will be fiction, but pretty much based on my past few years.  A lady who thinks she's in a fabulous marriage to her best friend, but actually he's a personality-disordered loser who cheats on her with a clone of his mom.  Then her subsequent reaction and journey into a great new life where she realizes that she was culpable in pulling the wool over her own eyes.  We'll see what happens.

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On my run this morning, my running partner and I saw a downy woodpecker.  Or maybe a hairy woodpecker.  I can never tell them apart unless I'm looking at pictures!  But it was a lot of fun and I love that my running partner loves to look at birds as much as I do!

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My dad and I have season tickets to our local NCAA basketball team.  This evening, I went to a game with him, my best friend, and my best friend's husband.  They love my parents, so we had a great time.  And, while the team was not very good last year, they are doing really well this year!  The last two games have been so well-played.  Tonight, we had great seats.  We could hear the players trash-talking and really see the physicality of the game.  I love it!  Unfortunately, the next home game isn't until next year -- nearly a month!

At the art museum

I go to my city's art museum on a semi-regular basis.  I love art, and now that I've started painting after my separation/divorce, I like to look for inspiration.  Sometimes I go alone, but sometimes I go with friends.  One of the great things about my new single life is getting to spend more time with friends.

My good friend and I went to a wonderful new restaurant, just a couple of blocks from my apartment.  I had a homemade veggie burger:

Then, on to the art museum.  They were having a special exhibition, where floral artists are assigned pieces in the collection, and they create an arrangement inspired by the art.  Super fun!

Unfortunately, this was not one of the pieces that had art inspired by it, but: parrot in the museum!

This one made me laugh!  It's in my dad's favorite part of the art museum: self-taught art.

Part of the permanent exhibit: metal birds!  I did buy an outside metal ornament that had a bird on it.  Once it's installed in my garden, I will post it.

Not wanting to jinx things, but I have put in an offer on a house!  It's so fabulous, but if I don't get this house, I'll find another.  This house has so much character -- stained glass windows, built-ins, a fabulous staircase, double door entry (for parrot safety), laundry not in the basement.  The parrots and are tired of living in an apartment, and we are excited to be in our own place where we can be as loud as we'd like again!

The weather has improved, which means I've been bicycle commuting most days.  I had to stop to take pictures of mergansers ("mohawk-ducks" as my good friend Sheila says.)  Unfortunately, all of my closer pictures were fuzzy, and the mergansers all dispersed while I got my camera ready.  You'll just have to take my word that they're not mallards.

Tomorrow, I am running my last long run before my May ultramarathon.  I'm hoping the weather will cooperate!  Last week, during my long run, it started snowing!  In April!  Then, another friend and I (she's running with me tomorrow morning) are going for pedicures.  They will be well-deserved, for sure.  And, the salon is close enough so we can walk and, therefore, drink wine.  So exciting!

He's back in the house :(

Thomas was supposed to come back tonight, but apparently his mistress's husband returned from his trip earlier than expected, so he returned last night instead.  He's not sure how long he's going to stay -- it could be days, weeks, or months.  I may be out before he is!  And then we have to sell the house.

The dark cloud of doom and gloom has returned.  It's very stressful.  The negativity is palpable.  He was like this before, but I always minimized and rationalized his behavior.  It will be a challenge to live together while we continue along the path to divorce.  If he's going to be here, at least he could try to be pleasant.  A cider or bit of wine makes him nearly tolerable.

Yesterday I went birding with a few friends, leaving work early.  Some short-eared owls had been sighted, so off we went.  After seeing them fly around a bit, we lucked out on one that was standing in a ditch on the side of the road, only about 15 feet from our car!  We watched him for a few minutes until he took off.  Simply breathtaking!

After that enjoyable experience, I had to return home to Thomas.  Not fun.  We came to an agreement on the property settlement, in an attempt to avoid going to litigation on the divorce.  We wrote it out and both signed it, so hopefully he will uphold his word this time.  As opposed to the part of our marriage ceremony where he promised to forsake all others.  You might be able to see that I'm not overly optimistic about this!  I didn't get what I feel I deserve, but it's reasonable and two lawyers told me that if we could agree to this, I'd be better off than taking my chances with litigation where I'd probably get a bit more but with lawyers' fees and the stress of litigation. 

Despite my negative tone in this entry, I am doing quite well.  My eyes have been opened and I've reviewed our relationship.  There's a big difference between sharing values and sharing hobbies.  We certainly shared hobbies, but our values are opposite.  I value honesty, integrity, family, kindness to animals and people, etc.  I'm really lucky to escape from this relationship at a relatively young age, so I still have years of happiness ahead of me.

I have some leads on jobs (mine ends on March 31) and hopefully will secure something in the next month or so.  Once I know where I will be working, I can rent an apartment and Max, Calypso, and I can move out.

Once again, my family and friends (including all of you!) have stepped up and have helped me through this process.  I have been overwhelmed with how supportive and loving everyone has been.  I have heard more compliments in the past 6 weeks than in the previous year.  No one can understand how/why this happened.  And if they met her, they'd understand even less!

The past few years have absolutely flown by, so now I'm hoping the next 6 months do as well.  I am excited about my new life and can't wait to get started!  It's just hard to do here with him around.  I feel like I'm currently stuck in neutral and I just want to move on.

Nature weekend

Thanks again for all of your support -- it means a lot.  We are still missing Brian immensely.  I buried him on Friday after work.  I scratched his head -- something he never let me do when he was alive -- and thought about the good times we had together.  My tears fell on him, and I was thinking how wonderful it would be if they had some sort of magical power that could restore him to life.  Of course, nothing happened, but I pulled out some of his lovely blue feathers and have them safe in a drawer.  He's now resting in the back yard, along with the rest of the budgies who've left us over the years.  Lenny, Ethel, Jeff Saturday, and Daphne.

Until this point in the day, I had not cried and was able to look back at pictures and videos of him fondly.  I think about him almost constantly, but it makes me happy to remember how wonderful he was and how lucky we were to have as much time with him as we did.  I know I shouldn't but I keep thinking of different "what ifs" -- it's amazing to think how decisions made nearly a decade earlier were ultimately instrumental in what happened.  For example, if I'd taken a different job in 2002, I probably wouldn't have been home until much later, sparing his life.  Or, if thugs hadn't broken into our house in 2005, we wouldn't have moved, which means we wouldn't have had room for Rocky (though we would have had room for Brian), and he'd still be alive.  It's just interesting how seemingly unrelated events can conspire against me.

We decided to try to spend much of the weekend in nature, as that always helps to raise our spirits.  We went to one of Thomas's favorite places, where there are lots of natural springs.  It was peaceful:

Some of the springs:

And we even saw a few cedar waxwings, Thomas's favorite wild bird:

We both felt much better.  Thomas is adamant that we can't add any more birds to our house.  Maybe when we move and the set up is different.  We have no plans to move.  I'm not sure if he'll still feel this way once he can process more of his grief.  In any way, it's way too early for us to think about adding anyone else.  Of course, I had three different people ask me if we'd take their special-needs birds since Brian died.  I had to turn them all down.

I had figured that our bird-bath activity would mostly be done for the year (it certainly will be soon once we turn off the outside water and close down the bird bath for the year) so it was a pleasant surprise to see a dark-eyed junco bathing this morning:

We'll definitely get out hiking some more this holiday weekend.  Nature really helps heal us.