Seen on my run this morning

It is so hard to get out of bed to run, but I'm always so happy when I do.  I sometimes feel like I am the luckiest lady in the world!

End of summer

I am so not ready for summer to come to an end yet.  I had such an amazing summer - a road trip with my sisters, concerts, movies, friends, etc.  I am slowly trying to wrap my head around the impending fall and winter.

I got this note in my fortune cookie, which my coworkers joked was place especially for me:

Made me happy that things are going so well at work.

Last month, I ran a 50K and wound up finishing 3rd in my age group.  Super pumped, and I received some nice prizes from that.  But perhaps the best prize was soaking my feet in an ice bucket while eating a cookie.

I volunteer at a nature center as the Treasurer, which means I spend way too much of my volunteer time inside!  Earlier this month, I was there to help with the financials, but finished early enough to take a hike.  Nature is so calming and beautiful:

Nature and Pride

June started with a 50K with my other best friend.  After a harsh winter and long spring, seeing greenery was so welcome!  This race, unlike most that start in the morning, started in the afternoon.  And since I was running with my friend, who is slower than I am, that meant we'd be running in the dark.  So we enjoyed the daylight as much as possible!

I'm trying to remain anonymous here so I can feel free to be open and honest (very few people in real life know about this blog), but here is a partial picture of me, in front of some trees:

We wound up finishing just before midnight, and had an amazing time.  We were singing on the trails, a la Weird Al, laughing, and having a great time.  Which was great because she got injured during the run, so I lost one of my favorite running partners while she rehabs and gets better.

The next day, I did a Beer Run -- about 2 miles with 4 mandatory beer stops -- though since I'd run a 50K the day before, it was a Beer Walk for me.  And I didn't officially finish since all of my friends were faster and ran back to the last beer stop to find me.  So it's taken me over 3 months to finish so far!

 

I ran into a guy I'd dated the previous year, which was a little uncomfortable, but we chatted and had a nice afternoon.  And then I had to leave because it was PRIDE!!!

One of the most amazing parts of my new beginning is the new friends that I've made.  Thomas was a loner sociopath who was isolating me.  I didn't realize it at the time, and I'm not so sure he did, either.  In any case, when he cheated and I left (well, he left first, for his mom-clone mistress, but then he wanted me back and I declined), that meant I didn't have a lot of friends.  Luckily my acquaintances understood, and became my friends.

Among my new-found friends is my coworker who, along with his husband, have welcomed me with open arms into the gay community.  Through them, I've made other life-long friends and had what has, so far, been the summer of my life.

My best friend and I went down to the gay pride parade, and it seemed like we were friends with half of the people there!

 

Then, we went out to dinner and had pie.  It was great.

I am so happy that I live in a time where people are more and more accepting of gay people.  I have two gay siblings, and it used to worry me -- that they would face discrimination, or mean-spirited people, be beat up, etc.  My mom broke down in tears when my sister came out because she was worried about what the future held for her, thinking of Laramie.  But now?  With all of the progress that has been made in the past few years?  There still is room for improvement, but I am so heartened for my friends who are reaping the benefits of those who came before.  There were so many people celebrating at pride! 

That my coworker and his husband had a wedding and invited everyone we worked with (he hid the fact that he was gay for the first 10 years he worked there since we work at a very conservative company in a very conservative industry.)  That so many coworkers came and celebrated.  That I didn't hear a single negative remark about it.  That so many people said it was the most fun wedding they'd ever attended.

This was just the beginning of an amazing summer.

May fun

I've mentioned before that one of my goals is to run a marathon in every state.  My best friend, who also runs marathons, has agreed to run marathons in some states with me.  She will not commit to all 50!  So, earlier this year, we ran a marathon in Michigan, and then in May, we went to Ohio to run the Flying Pig Marathon.  So much fun!

I didn't really have friends before, so one of the best parts of my new beginning is all of the friendships that I've made.  I had known my best friend for about 8 years, in that we'd train for a marathon every summer.  However, we'd see each other on Saturday mornings for 13 weeks, and then not talk again until the following July.  Now, I bought a house 5 blocks from her and we see each other several times a week.

Here is a view of the bridge that will take us over to Cincinnati from Kentucky, where our hotel was:

So clever -- here are past years' posters.  This year was Pigcasso.  I love it!

We went to a baseball game, since the Reds were in town.

The guy in front of us at the ticket line really loved the Reds!

Because we had run a marathon, we got to eat a lot of delicious food:

Back home, another one of my new friends is the lead singer in a local band.  He was shockingly good!  Several of us (I brought the guy I was dating at the time) went to hear him -- there was lots of dancing and laughter!

 

Later in the month, my department was having a mini golf tournament.  I had to build a golf hole, and did so with the help of the guy I was dating at the time.  We won the prize of "Hardest Hole" which included gift certificates to a coffee shop.  I think it took me about 30 strokes to get the ball in the hole, and even that might have involved a bit of cheating (such as guiding the ball a bit more than I think is legal...)

One day, I came home and my neighbors were staring over the fence.  She said that there was a turkey who had been hanging out in my yard for hours!  You can see him at the end of my driveway -- he left once I arrived.

One of the things I do a lot now is go to concerts.  Another one of my very good friends works for a concert venue in town, so she'll invite me to see shows when she has extra tickets.

However, my boss (who is absolutely amazing) invited me to see The Indigo Girls with her since she had an extra ticket.  We had a great time and though I didn't really know their music, wound up buying their Greatest Hits CD and listen to it frequently now.

Now, to upload pictures from the rest of the summer and get up to date so I can hopefully maintain this blog more faithfully going forward.

I am sad that I didn't keep a record of what I was going through when things were so terrible for me.  However, the pain was so raw and so intense that I'm not sure I'd want to have that down in print or to ever revisit it.  Now, with distance from an abusive relationship, all I can think is how lucky I was to get out in my mid-30s.  That I still had time to find the life that I should have been living -- to experience things like friends, laughter, honest people, good sex, and so much more.  To live instead of to just exist.

More soon!

Things are so good - weekend recap - rambing!!!

A rambling post, most likely.  And one with no pictures!

Friday it was quite rainy here, so I aborted my attempt to bike to work after two blocks (I'm in a very conservative, professional firm so they frown on me arriving sopping wet!)  I decided to take the bus in and let fate decide how I'd get home.

It was beautiful around 5:00 pm, so I decided that I would run the three miles home.  I always keep a set of running clothes at work in case I ever need to exercise mid-day.  This planning paid off!

As I was running home, I realized that I am currently the happiest that I have ever been in my entire life.  And then I started thinking about how my life had changed so much in the past few years.  I was near suicidal when I found out that Thomas had been cheating on me.  I really thought my life was finished.  I'd put all of my attention into him (misguided!) and I'd neglected myself.  Never again!  This entire journey has shown me how I have amazing parents, wonderful friends, and a great life.  I never would have left him if he hadn't cheated on me.  Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like had he just remained faithful.  I would have stayed and had just been a shell of myself. I may have even become an alcoholic.

A couple of weeks ago, I took a day off of work, spent the night at my parents' house, and the day shopping with my mom.  I had such a great time!  My dad keeps the wine flowing, so we started having some interesting conversations (after some cards, of course!)

I had thanked my parents for being such great parents.  I've observed that I'm truly lucky in being born to my mom and dad.  I grew up super poor, but I always knew I was loved, and had essentially an idyllic childhood.  My dad started talking about parenting, and said, "I think that the best thing your mom and I did for you kids is..."

At this point I expected some sort of profound announcement -- "...the fact that we emphasized education" or "...the unconditional love that we had for you" or the equivalent.  Instead, he said, "...introducing you to movie musicals!"  And he was serious!!!

So then I started texting my siblings so we could see what everyone's three favorite musicals were.  It's really hard to choose, but I think mine are "Guys and Dolls," "Singing in the Rain," and "The Sound of Music."  Except "1776" should be in there as well!

In any case, Friday evening I had dinner at my best friend's house.  One of our mutual friends was involved in an organization that hosts international visitors.  There were two from Georgia who were spending a few days in my town.  They came over to my friend's house, and we had dinner together.  It was fascinating learning a bit about Georgia (I really want to visit Tbilisi someday after hearing them talk about how beautiful it was!)

I ran a marathon on Saturday morning.  It was a race that Thomas and I had run together in 2011.  Because I'm finally healed, emotionally healthy, and in a happy place, it was interesting for me to note the differences.  I could talk to people!  I didn't have to revolve my race around his pace!  No one was mean to me!  (Thomas was ever the only person who was mean to me, but I made excuses and lived in a fantasy world where I pretended he actually loved me.)

I went directly from the race (after showering) to the funeral of my work friend's brother.  I've read that you need to keep professional contacts professional, etc.  Maybe it's good that I don't listen to the rules.  I have become fast friends with one of the ladies at work.  I will call her Monica.  She's closer to my mom's age than to mine, but we are kindred spirits.  I have only been at this job for about two years, but she has become an amazing presence in my life.  We tell each other, "I love you," and it's so true.  I get along so well with her husband, kids, and extended family.  It's strange what fate has in store for us!

Then, I went to my friend's house to watch the basketball game.  Of course, I was rooting for Wisconsin, and my heart was broken when Kentucky won after we were leading almost the entire game.  I should just be happy that we made it to the Final Four, but I still feel cheated.  A bit.  I walked home (how cool is it that I live just a few blocks from my best friend's house?) and was just about to fall asleep, when I got a text.

It was from one of my very good friends, who is the husband of one of my coworkers.  (We also tell each other that we love each other.  Why don't more people express their true feelings?  I love being authentic and honest with everyone!)  They were vacationing in Florida, and their cat sitter called them to tell them that their cat was not doing well.  I felt so honored that they would call me to figure out the situation!  Even though it was about 11:00 pm at night, I went over to their house, packed their cat into the cat carrier, and went to the emergency vet.  Everything went well -- the cat is stabilized -- and my friends will be back on Tuesday.

I went to bed around 2:00 am.  Do you ever feel like you're living this crazy sitcom life?

On Sunday morning (today), I met two of my good friends to go for a walk.  I didn't feel like running since I was still recovering from my marathon, and one of my friends can't run since she is recovering from an eating disorder.  We had a great talk.

When I was married, I didn't really have friends.  I had acquaintances, but  I couldn't do things with other people or I'd incur the wrath of Thomas.  I'd learned to walk on eggshells, and normalize his aberrant behavior in order to keep the peace.  After all, I believe in marriage, and was determined to make mine work.

Now, I have so many friends!  My acquaintances have turned into friends.  I've made new friends.  People who I barely knew were there for me, and still are.  And vice versa.  I've learned to be authentic and truly happy.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say by this, other than abusive relationships suck.  I didn't think I was in one, even though friends of mine told me that I was.  He didn't hit me; I'm intelligent; things are OK; right? Not so much!  I was emotionally and verbally abused.  The stories I have told have brought my friends (and me) to tears.  Why did I think it was OK for Thomas to treat me so poorly?  And the truth of the matter is that I believe so strongly in marriage being forever (no one in my family gets divorced) that I would have stayed with him.

Which brings me to the end of this message -- I had an amazing first date today.  Since I've been single, I've gone on approximately 40 first dates.  I tell my friends stories about them, and they double over in laughter, asking me to write a book.  Perhaps someday, though I suspect my experiences aren't that different from other people trying to date in their 30s. (There are a lot of weirdos out there!  But also a lot of really good people!)

Things are looking up -- if anyone is reading this and is in an abusive relationship -- things get so much better!  Surround yourself with only good, loving people!  You're worth it!!!

January?

To start January, one of my best friends and I went out to the trails for a run.  We've done many of these since then, but this was the first one.

Getting ready to get out in the cold:

So snowy!  So beautiful!

Back at home, Max continued to be adorable and to beg for me to pick her up:

I try to tell her that she is an independent grey and not a needy cockatoo, but she doesn't listen.  As soon as I put the camera in front of her, she pretty much lifts up her foot -- her way of asking to be picked up.

Calypso, as adorable as ever.  This year, he turns 19, and he celebrates his 10th anniversary with me.  Our bond just keeps getting stronger and stronger.

And Beeps continues to do well.  Here, he's showing off for the camera: destroying his phone book (who knew they even made those anymore?)

So excited that he rolls over on his back!

Max, again:

Eating peanut butter on a spoon.  She loves showing off how smart she is; I had several friends over when she did this.

Earlier in the year, I had my internet tech stop by to figure out why my service had ceased to work properly.  She yelled "Hello!" as soon as he walked in, and later insisted on performing her tricks for him.  What a show-off!  As it turned out, he had a Grey at home, so delighted in her tricks.

Swing!

I cannot even express how much I love it when one of my parrots is hanging out on their swing.  Usually, it's one of the caiques.  In this case, it was Calypso.  Even though his door was open and he could have been hanging out on the outside of his cage, he chose to perch on a swing.  He has several in his cage, and I love it every single time.

When I see this, I fawn all over him, pick him up, and we make kiss sounds at each other.  So I'm probably reinforcing it, but I also like to think that it brings him happiness thinking about being free on swinging branches.

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Life continues to be extremely busy.  I just broke things off with the last guy I was seeing.  He was just too weird, and I had enough of that in my marriage!  However, I think that he has (inadvertently) convinced me to write a book.  It may be a book that only my friends read, but already, "That's gotta go in your book!" is being exclaimed frequently.  So many funny stories!  Right now, I'm thinking it will be fiction, but pretty much based on my past few years.  A lady who thinks she's in a fabulous marriage to her best friend, but actually he's a personality-disordered loser who cheats on her with a clone of his mom.  Then her subsequent reaction and journey into a great new life where she realizes that she was culpable in pulling the wool over her own eyes.  We'll see what happens.

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On my run this morning, my running partner and I saw a downy woodpecker.  Or maybe a hairy woodpecker.  I can never tell them apart unless I'm looking at pictures!  But it was a lot of fun and I love that my running partner loves to look at birds as much as I do!

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My dad and I have season tickets to our local NCAA basketball team.  This evening, I went to a game with him, my best friend, and my best friend's husband.  They love my parents, so we had a great time.  And, while the team was not very good last year, they are doing really well this year!  The last two games have been so well-played.  Tonight, we had great seats.  We could hear the players trash-talking and really see the physicality of the game.  I love it!  Unfortunately, the next home game isn't until next year -- nearly a month!

Catching Up!

Despite what it may seem, I have not forgotten about this blog! I am still a bit angry with myself for not posting more often, as I'd love to be able to look back and see what's been going on in my life! Yet again, I will try to post more regularly...starting NOW!!!

But, first...I must catch up with the past few months. I'll miss a lot, but hit the highlights relating to pictures I took.

In September, I ran a 50K race with one of my best friends.  She's someone I knew before I found out about Thomas's cheating, barely.  We both volunteered for our local marathon, but I never became friends with her due to Thomas's weirdness and the fact that since he didn't have any friends, he begrudged me mine.

She really stepped up, and we've become so close over the past two years.  In fact, tomorrow we are going trail running, touring a winery, and watching our NFL team at her house as her boyfriend makes us vegetarian chili. Score!

Usually, I run my own race, but we agreed that we would run this 50K (31 miles) together.  It was so much fun!  Here is what we saw near the beginning:

It turned out to be a gorgeous day, and we became even better friends due to this experience.  We crossed the finish line holding hands and collapsed in a giant hug.

Two more pictures of what we got to see during our run:

In early September, Steve Earle came to town!  I've been a big fan ever since I saw him on The Wire (best show ever to appear on TV, in case you're wondering.  I am watching Season 1, episode 4 as I write this post.)  As an aside, on a terrible first date, I met George Pelecanos, one of the writers on The Wire.  He was absolutely amazing, and made me love the show even more!

Steve's live show was every bit as wonderful as expected.  I went with my parents; I've become much closer to them throughout this ordeal, which is one of the many silver linings of finding out I was married to a sociopath and getting divorced:

This is the dessert at one of my new favorite restaurants.  I first shared it with one of my best friends (and fellow parrot-enthusiast) a few months back -- brownie with salted caramel gelato, nuts, cherry, etc.  I went back with another friend, and once I showed them the picture I had taken of my dessert earlier in the summer, they agreed to make it for me, even though it was no longer officially on the menu.  Yay!

Here's my good friend near finishing her first triathlon!  Surrounded by geese, which I loved.  Another one of our friends and I chased her around on our bikes with signs, cheering her on.  It was such a great day!

I had been on yet another bummer first date, followed by a lake cruise with friends.  I feel so lucky to live in such a fabulous city!  The views more than made up for the bad first date!

I cat-sat for my good friend and her husband.  Sprecher was watching me!

And the two of them, eating their food:

This blog was originally started to chronicle the antics of my parrots, so we will now enter that portion of this entry!

Here's Max, eating something (shocker!)  Andreas's tank is in the background.  Speaking of Andreas, he has become so much more personable recently.  He asks for me to pet his head!  I'm starting to think certain animals really can recognize evil people, which is why the parrots and Andreas are so much happier now!

And, Beeps: eating some food as well.

Calypso had climbed into Max's cage and was eating her food!  Since I always supervise, this situation was resolved without bloodshed.

Max, perched on some blankets on the couch.  She likes to be near me as I read after work.

Beeps, again.  He's actually not done as well in our new life.  I had begged Thomas to take him, since he never got along with the other birds and would prefer to be solo, but Thomas refused to take any of the parrots, or (not so shockingly), any responsibility for anything.  I had to figure everything out alone, and made what I thought were the best decisions for the parrots were at the time.  I think he feels abandoned, and hasn't rebounded as much as Calypso and Max have.

I'm still trying to eat healthy; here's a pan full of zucchini!

At my new job, I frequently have to go to fancy fundraising events.  This is a shot from a recent one.  The local professional hockey team were our servers; it was pretty exciting to be out there, sitting on the ice!

The meal (vegetarian option) was pretty, but not as tasting or filling as I'd hoped...

Also during the fall, I dog-sat one night for my closest friend and her husband.  They live only a few blocks from me, which is so convenient!  They currently have two boxers (sadly, one is nearing the end of his life.)  They have adopted me as one of their favorite humans, which is so fun!

I was trying to take a picture of Hans, but he jumped up on me and made a good picture impossible!

He always grabs a toy and tries to get me to play tug-of-war:

He wanted to go inside, but since I wanted to make sure they didn't have any accidents, I kept them outside a little longer!

So he decided to rest on their patio furniture, waiting until he could go inside again:

I tried, rather unsuccessfully, to get both of them in the photo.  The older one was coming in for some attention when the younger one pushed him out of the way:

HELLO!

A few weeks ago, some friends and I ran a 5K race that took place entirely inside a corn maze!  It was a lot of fun (though a bit hard on my knees, with the twists and turns), I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for a year, and I won first place in my age group!  To celebrate, we went to a fabulous Mexican restaurant:

On yet another bad first date, I had some more macaroni and cheese:

I am not even kidding that I could write a blog about all of my bad first dates.  I've had some good ones sprinkled in, too, so no worries!

My dad and I have season tickets to a local NCAA team; the games started recently.  We went to almost all of the games together last year, and it was so much fun!  We're hoping to make all of the games this year:

Last week Saturday, I ran another 50K -- my third of the year.  I wound up third woman!  The race was established in honor of one of my friends who is dying of cancer.  I took what I hope is one of many annual pictures with my friend and his wife (another one of my friends.)  The wife (also my friend) and I will probably run Boston together in 2015.  I have run it before, but was with Thomas (aka "The Dark Cloud of Doom and Gloom") so it wasn't much fun.  Next time, it will be for sure!

Gorgeous picture of me and my race partner running up a hill, at about mile 30.7:

After this recent 50K, there was a campfire to warm us and make us smell delicious:

After the race, my plan was to hang out at home, drink beer, and sleep in.  But one of my friends had another idea in mind.  She's in the process of leaving her abusive partner.  Since I have recent experience with this, I have tried my best to be as supportive as possible.  We went to a haunted house (even though I am terrified of them) and then did a zip line, pictured below:

Today, my parents came up and helped me to winterize my house.  We cleaned the gutters, put some plastic on windows, took out my window air conditioning unit, and played some cards. It was a great evening! 

More to come, on a more regular basis!