Sunday, September 14, 2014
Lazy Days
I purchased a hammock to go on my porch this summer, and have spent many lazy hours reading outside. I love it! Sometimes, I take the parrots out with me so they can enjoy the breezes:
Concerts & Closings
I had an amazing summer. One of my goals was to attend 14 concerts in 2014. I achieved that before the end of June! (Interestingly enough, I have not gone to any since then and it's mid-September!)
One of my favorite concerts was Lady Gaga. We were in the pit, so had a good view of the stage, but because she's so short and we were in the back of the pit, we mostly saw her backup dancers and saw her on the video screens.
We put lightning bolts on our faces, and I went with three of my favorite friends.
What an experience!
**********
Shortly thereafter, I learned that my favorite restaurant, which happens to be just a few blocks from my house, was closing! My parents and I go here frequently, my best friend and I went at least once a month, I had many first dates here (maybe those are worth forgetting!)
In any case, my best friend and I went on the last weekend it was open, for old time's sake. I took a day off of work and we had a great time.
It's going to reopen soon, as another one of my favorite local restaurants (a small chain -- this will be its 3rd location.) However, my parents love Italian food and aren't exactly fond of Mexican, so we'll see if they even try it.
One of my favorite concerts was Lady Gaga. We were in the pit, so had a good view of the stage, but because she's so short and we were in the back of the pit, we mostly saw her backup dancers and saw her on the video screens.
We put lightning bolts on our faces, and I went with three of my favorite friends.
Shortly thereafter, I learned that my favorite restaurant, which happens to be just a few blocks from my house, was closing! My parents and I go here frequently, my best friend and I went at least once a month, I had many first dates here (maybe those are worth forgetting!)
In any case, my best friend and I went on the last weekend it was open, for old time's sake. I took a day off of work and we had a great time.
Parrot yoga
When it's nice outside, after I get back from my morning run, I put Max in her sleep cage and bring her on my porch with me while I do yoga.
Sometimes she yells "Hello!" at the passers-by with their dogs, but mostly she just says "Oof!" as I transition from downward dog to plank.
Sometimes she yells "Hello!" at the passers-by with their dogs, but mostly she just says "Oof!" as I transition from downward dog to plank.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Outsmarted!
In my new house, Max's favorite spot is on top of my stained glass window that's in my stairwell. You can see it in the background of this picture.
However, she is not allowed there, as she chips off pieces of old wood and I want my house to look nice!
I attempted to hang a curtain in my stairwell to prevent her from going up there. But the barrier was ineffective as she just decided to perch on it instead! And usually wind up on the stained glass after a few minutes of strutting around, proud of herself.
However, she is not allowed there, as she chips off pieces of old wood and I want my house to look nice!
I attempted to hang a curtain in my stairwell to prevent her from going up there. But the barrier was ineffective as she just decided to perch on it instead! And usually wind up on the stained glass after a few minutes of strutting around, proud of herself.
I have also tried using a curtain to enclose her in the living room, where their cages are. She has a two-pronged approach to deal with this inconvenience:
First, she flies directly into the curtain several times, to see if she can dislodge the tension rod and cause the curtain to fall (this must hurt...)
When this fails (about half the time), she flies to the ground, crawls under the 1/2 inch space at the bottom of the fabric, and then flies to the stained glass window.
I still have not figured out an effective solution to this other than intense supervision and going upstairs with her. Or corralling her in the kitchen with me. I need to become smarter than my parrot!
(My actual plan is to get something that can fit there so she no longer can. I just have to figure out what and actually do it!)
Short stories
Still working my way through the summer...I figure in 30 years I'll be glad these pictures are out there.
My friends were hosting a gala to raise money for LGBT charities. I received an invite, and had to find the perfect outfit...
Unfortunately, I was having too much fun and didn't get any pictures taken of me wearing it; I just have this one I was taking to send to a friend for advice on which dress to wear:
The gala was the most successful one ever, and I had a great time. I can't tell you how many times I was told that I looked fabulous! This will definitely become an annual event for me -- I'm already on the lookout for a dress for next year!
**********
I was driving along a busy road when I saw something that just didn't look right. On second glance, I saw a baby robin -- way too small to be out of the nest -- right in the middle of traffic! Again, I stopped my car, so happy that he didn't get run over until I could get to him. I wasn't able to locate his nest (he'd fallen from a tall tree), so I put him in a planter. I don't know what happened to him, but I am telling myself that his parents were able to find him and keep him safe.
**********
I have always wanted a globe. While at a consignment furniture shop, I found one! I think it looks really nice in front of my fireplace. This fireplace is currently not operational, but in the near future, I will attempt to convert it over to gas. It was at one point, but apparently something happened.
**********
Sometimes when I'm cooking dinner, I feel a gentle pressure on my foot, and look down to find a friend:
**********
Pina coladas! These were so amazing, and someday I will figure out how to perfect this recipe!
My friends were hosting a gala to raise money for LGBT charities. I received an invite, and had to find the perfect outfit...
**********
I was driving along a busy road when I saw something that just didn't look right. On second glance, I saw a baby robin -- way too small to be out of the nest -- right in the middle of traffic! Again, I stopped my car, so happy that he didn't get run over until I could get to him. I wasn't able to locate his nest (he'd fallen from a tall tree), so I put him in a planter. I don't know what happened to him, but I am telling myself that his parents were able to find him and keep him safe.
**********
I have always wanted a globe. While at a consignment furniture shop, I found one! I think it looks really nice in front of my fireplace. This fireplace is currently not operational, but in the near future, I will attempt to convert it over to gas. It was at one point, but apparently something happened.
Sometimes when I'm cooking dinner, I feel a gentle pressure on my foot, and look down to find a friend:
**********
Pina coladas! These were so amazing, and someday I will figure out how to perfect this recipe!
Early Summer Beer Fest
I live in a town with a fair number of beer fests. I also now live on the side of town in which most fun activities happen, which means that I can bike to most of these fests!
My best friend, her friend from high school (who has now become my friend), and I went to a beer fest towards the beginning of the summer. We'd started the day with a 15 mile run, so we were definitely ready and thirsty when it started. Also happened to run into other friends there!
The taps from one of my favorite breweries (I must admit, I'll frequently buy the beer solely for the nature-themed names and pictures on the holder!)
An ingenious way to carry your beer around in my neighborhood -- though you'd run the risk of theft, depending on what type of beer you're carrying...
Cheers!
The taps from one of my favorite breweries (I must admit, I'll frequently buy the beer solely for the nature-themed names and pictures on the holder!)
Friday, September 5, 2014
RIP, Beeps
As I briefly mentioned earlier, I made the very tough decision to euthanize Beeps on June 15, 2014. This was a very tough decision, and I still miss him every day. I probably will for the rest of my life. He was only 16, and should have lived to at least 30.
I adopted Beeps almost accidentally. I'd adopted Calypso in 2004 because he appeared to love Thomas while we were at the rescue. If I'm being honest, at the time rescue caiques were quite rare, and I wanted to adopt Calypso partly because of that.
We got Calypso home, he recovered from his abusive home, and, once settled in, strongly preferred me. (Perhaps he can sense sociopath?) Thomas broke his femur when, in December 2005, Calypso latched on in a terrible bite. Thomas walked over to the couch, pried Calypso off of him, but Calypso took an unfortunate bounce, landed on the floor, and broke his femur. He was terrified of Thomas after that, even though I can't blame Thomas for prying off a bird who was grinding into his skin. He even had the presence of mind to go to the couch to pry him off so Calypso would be cushioned. This is not evidence of his sociopathy -- I have plenty of that!
In any case, I kept reading about how caiques get along with other caiques. At the time, I was not as discerning about believing what I read on the Internet, so when another black-capped caique -- and one about the same age! -- was surrendered to the rescue in 2006, I decided to adopt him, too. I had idyllic visions of the two of them sharing a cage, preening each other, etc. But all of my grand plans were dashed when I got Beeps home and I realized that not only did he not get along with Calypso, but he also didn't get along with Max!
I had Beeps for just shy of 8 years, and much of that time was spent making sure that he neither attacked another parrot, nor was attacked by them.
Over the years, I grew to love him greatly (he was so adorable!) I learned his quirks. For example, he would launch flying attacks at me when I'd read a book on the couch. I could read a magazine on the couch. I could read a book anywhere else. But when I'd grab a book and read it on the couch, he'd attack. He'd also attack if anyone lifted their arms above their head. He'd attack if I carried a Tupperware container in front of him. The list of his triggers kept growing, and I abided by them in order to have a happy bird. He was something else. I loved him so.
He had a distinct whistle. At the end, he'd shout "Pretty baby!" If I did the whistle, he'd shout, "Pretty baby!" This was the only way I could get him to speak on command. He also had a demonic voice in which he'd start chanting, "Babycakes, babycakes..." He only knew three words -- "pretty," "baby," and "cake/s," but he knew how to use them for full effect.
I'd noticed that he had trouble pooping. He'd try, but nothing would come out. Sometimes, poop would stick to his vent. I took him to all of the avian vets (certified or not) in the city, but no one could figure out what was going on. He still seemed to be his normal self, but parrots are masters at hiding illness.
One day in May, I came home from work, and he was listless and had prolapsed. It looked like a red balloon was hanging out of his vent. I rushed him the the emergency vet (who happens to be certified avian!) She cleaned him up, fixed his prolapse, and stitched him close.
I moved him to a small, sleep cage so that he could recover. I put the cage in my room, and we had a great last month.
He'd fly to my laptop as I was on the computer in bed:
He was not happy about the antibiotics and pain killers he had to take, but he dealt with it with aplomb.
We went to the vet several times a week, trying to figure out what was going on:
In the car, I'd play a CD of his favorite music and, when he wasn't too scared, he'd whistle along with me.
In the morning, I'd let him out to explore as I got ready for work. Many times, I found him hanging out on my pillow:
After several weeks, and several thousands of dollars, his prolapsing kept continuing. The vet said I could try a surgery with a less than 10% success rate. I knew that he was suffering, and it wasn't fair to keep him alive for my selfish desires.
I made the very difficult decision to euthanize him. As I'm typing this, nearly three months later, reliving it is bringing many tears to my eyes. I'm so sad this his parents were captured and that he was born in captivity. He deserved to live in South America, in a large flock of caiques. He deserved to be able to have a family and fly free. Instead, because of selfish humans, he wound up in my home. An unnatural environment for a parrot, and an environment that eventually caused his death.
Here is the last picture I took of him. The vet allowed us as much time as we needed to say goodbye. I had grabbed a tissue and placed it in the palm of my hand. I was trying so hard to be strong for him; so that he wouldn't sense my sadness and feel sacred or sad. Inquisitive as ever, he found the tissue and made a toy out of it.
I called my parents to let them know what had happened. They drove the hour to see and comfort me. My mom had brought a special cloth to use as a shroud. My dad dug Beeps's grave, and I placed him in my back yard. I put a paving stone over where he lay.
They also helped me to clean his cage and move it to the basement. I wasn't up to the task alone. I had Beeps's toys in a bag, and parts of his cage still in my living room. Calypso paid Beeps homage by walking over to the debris and making sad sounds while ritualistically bobbing up and down.
Since Beeps's untimely death, Max has started making his whistle. She never did this when he was alive. Even though Calypso and Max didn't get along with him while he was alive, Beeps was still part of their flock. I showed them his lifeless body, hoping they'd understand.
I miss Beeps so much. I know I made the right decision -- I consulted with my most bird-savvy friends/acquaintances. I couldn't keep him alive and suffering just for me. Yet sometimes I am still overwhelmed with sadness that I couldn't make this right. A feeling that I failed him. I loved him so much, and I truly believe that he was as happy as a captive parrot can be. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life, and I always look where he is buried and think about what an amazing being he was.
He survived some of the most horrible abuse I'd ever heard of (before he came to me.) He was a survivor. I am so lucky to have known him.
I adopted Beeps almost accidentally. I'd adopted Calypso in 2004 because he appeared to love Thomas while we were at the rescue. If I'm being honest, at the time rescue caiques were quite rare, and I wanted to adopt Calypso partly because of that.
We got Calypso home, he recovered from his abusive home, and, once settled in, strongly preferred me. (Perhaps he can sense sociopath?) Thomas broke his femur when, in December 2005, Calypso latched on in a terrible bite. Thomas walked over to the couch, pried Calypso off of him, but Calypso took an unfortunate bounce, landed on the floor, and broke his femur. He was terrified of Thomas after that, even though I can't blame Thomas for prying off a bird who was grinding into his skin. He even had the presence of mind to go to the couch to pry him off so Calypso would be cushioned. This is not evidence of his sociopathy -- I have plenty of that!
In any case, I kept reading about how caiques get along with other caiques. At the time, I was not as discerning about believing what I read on the Internet, so when another black-capped caique -- and one about the same age! -- was surrendered to the rescue in 2006, I decided to adopt him, too. I had idyllic visions of the two of them sharing a cage, preening each other, etc. But all of my grand plans were dashed when I got Beeps home and I realized that not only did he not get along with Calypso, but he also didn't get along with Max!
I had Beeps for just shy of 8 years, and much of that time was spent making sure that he neither attacked another parrot, nor was attacked by them.
Over the years, I grew to love him greatly (he was so adorable!) I learned his quirks. For example, he would launch flying attacks at me when I'd read a book on the couch. I could read a magazine on the couch. I could read a book anywhere else. But when I'd grab a book and read it on the couch, he'd attack. He'd also attack if anyone lifted their arms above their head. He'd attack if I carried a Tupperware container in front of him. The list of his triggers kept growing, and I abided by them in order to have a happy bird. He was something else. I loved him so.
He had a distinct whistle. At the end, he'd shout "Pretty baby!" If I did the whistle, he'd shout, "Pretty baby!" This was the only way I could get him to speak on command. He also had a demonic voice in which he'd start chanting, "Babycakes, babycakes..." He only knew three words -- "pretty," "baby," and "cake/s," but he knew how to use them for full effect.
I'd noticed that he had trouble pooping. He'd try, but nothing would come out. Sometimes, poop would stick to his vent. I took him to all of the avian vets (certified or not) in the city, but no one could figure out what was going on. He still seemed to be his normal self, but parrots are masters at hiding illness.
One day in May, I came home from work, and he was listless and had prolapsed. It looked like a red balloon was hanging out of his vent. I rushed him the the emergency vet (who happens to be certified avian!) She cleaned him up, fixed his prolapse, and stitched him close.
I moved him to a small, sleep cage so that he could recover. I put the cage in my room, and we had a great last month.
He'd fly to my laptop as I was on the computer in bed:
We went to the vet several times a week, trying to figure out what was going on:
In the morning, I'd let him out to explore as I got ready for work. Many times, I found him hanging out on my pillow:
I made the very difficult decision to euthanize him. As I'm typing this, nearly three months later, reliving it is bringing many tears to my eyes. I'm so sad this his parents were captured and that he was born in captivity. He deserved to live in South America, in a large flock of caiques. He deserved to be able to have a family and fly free. Instead, because of selfish humans, he wound up in my home. An unnatural environment for a parrot, and an environment that eventually caused his death.
Here is the last picture I took of him. The vet allowed us as much time as we needed to say goodbye. I had grabbed a tissue and placed it in the palm of my hand. I was trying so hard to be strong for him; so that he wouldn't sense my sadness and feel sacred or sad. Inquisitive as ever, he found the tissue and made a toy out of it.
They also helped me to clean his cage and move it to the basement. I wasn't up to the task alone. I had Beeps's toys in a bag, and parts of his cage still in my living room. Calypso paid Beeps homage by walking over to the debris and making sad sounds while ritualistically bobbing up and down.
I miss Beeps so much. I know I made the right decision -- I consulted with my most bird-savvy friends/acquaintances. I couldn't keep him alive and suffering just for me. Yet sometimes I am still overwhelmed with sadness that I couldn't make this right. A feeling that I failed him. I loved him so much, and I truly believe that he was as happy as a captive parrot can be. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life, and I always look where he is buried and think about what an amazing being he was.
He survived some of the most horrible abuse I'd ever heard of (before he came to me.) He was a survivor. I am so lucky to have known him.
Nature and Pride
June started with a 50K with my other best friend. After a harsh winter and long spring, seeing greenery was so welcome! This race, unlike most that start in the morning, started in the afternoon. And since I was running with my friend, who is slower than I am, that meant we'd be running in the dark. So we enjoyed the daylight as much as possible!
I'm trying to remain anonymous here so I can feel free to be open and honest (very few people in real life know about this blog), but here is a partial picture of me, in front of some trees:
We wound up finishing just before midnight, and had an amazing time. We were singing on the trails, a la Weird Al, laughing, and having a great time. Which was great because she got injured during the run, so I lost one of my favorite running partners while she rehabs and gets better.
The next day, I did a Beer Run -- about 2 miles with 4 mandatory beer stops -- though since I'd run a 50K the day before, it was a Beer Walk for me. And I didn't officially finish since all of my friends were faster and ran back to the last beer stop to find me. So it's taken me over 3 months to finish so far!
One of the most amazing parts of my new beginning is the new friends that I've made. Thomas was a loner sociopath who was isolating me. I didn't realize it at the time, and I'm not so sure he did, either. In any case, when he cheated and I left (well, he left first, for his mom-clone mistress, but then he wanted me back and I declined), that meant I didn't have a lot of friends. Luckily my acquaintances understood, and became my friends.
Among my new-found friends is my coworker who, along with his husband, have welcomed me with open arms into the gay community. Through them, I've made other life-long friends and had what has, so far, been the summer of my life.
My best friend and I went down to the gay pride parade, and it seemed like we were friends with half of the people there!
Then, we went out to dinner and had pie. It was great.
I am so happy that I live in a time where people are more and more accepting of gay people. I have two gay siblings, and it used to worry me -- that they would face discrimination, or mean-spirited people, be beat up, etc. My mom broke down in tears when my sister came out because she was worried about what the future held for her, thinking of Laramie. But now? With all of the progress that has been made in the past few years? There still is room for improvement, but I am so heartened for my friends who are reaping the benefits of those who came before. There were so many people celebrating at pride!
That my coworker and his husband had a wedding and invited everyone we worked with (he hid the fact that he was gay for the first 10 years he worked there since we work at a very conservative company in a very conservative industry.) That so many coworkers came and celebrated. That I didn't hear a single negative remark about it. That so many people said it was the most fun wedding they'd ever attended.
This was just the beginning of an amazing summer.
Friday, August 22, 2014
May fun
I've mentioned before that one of my goals is to run a marathon in
every state. My best friend, who also runs marathons, has agreed to run
marathons in some states with me. She will not commit to all 50! So,
earlier this year, we ran a marathon in Michigan, and then in May, we
went to Ohio to run the Flying Pig Marathon. So much fun!
I didn't really have friends before, so one of the best parts of my new beginning is all of the friendships that I've made. I had known my best friend for about 8 years, in that we'd train for a marathon every summer. However, we'd see each other on Saturday mornings for 13 weeks, and then not talk again until the following July. Now, I bought a house 5 blocks from her and we see each other several times a week.
Here is a view of the bridge that will take us over to Cincinnati from Kentucky, where our hotel was:
So clever -- here are past years' posters. This year was Pigcasso. I love it!
We went to a baseball game, since the Reds were in town.
The guy in front of us at the ticket line really loved the Reds!
Because we had run a marathon, we got to eat a lot of delicious food:
Back home, another one of my new friends is the lead singer in a local band. He was shockingly good! Several of us (I brought the guy I was dating at the time) went to hear him -- there was lots of dancing and laughter!
Later in the month, my department was having a mini golf tournament. I had to build a golf hole, and did so with the help of the guy I was dating at the time. We won the prize of "Hardest Hole" which included gift certificates to a coffee shop. I think it took me about 30 strokes to get the ball in the hole, and even that might have involved a bit of cheating (such as guiding the ball a bit more than I think is legal...)
One day, I came home and my neighbors were staring over the fence. She said that there was a turkey who had been hanging out in my yard for hours! You can see him at the end of my driveway -- he left once I arrived.
One of the things I do a lot now is go to concerts. Another one of my very good friends works for a concert venue in town, so she'll invite me to see shows when she has extra tickets.
However, my boss (who is absolutely amazing) invited me to see The Indigo Girls with her since she had an extra ticket. We had a great time and though I didn't really know their music, wound up buying their Greatest Hits CD and listen to it frequently now.
Now, to upload pictures from the rest of the summer and get up to date so I can hopefully maintain this blog more faithfully going forward.
I am sad that I didn't keep a record of what I was going through when things were so terrible for me. However, the pain was so raw and so intense that I'm not sure I'd want to have that down in print or to ever revisit it. Now, with distance from an abusive relationship, all I can think is how lucky I was to get out in my mid-30s. That I still had time to find the life that I should have been living -- to experience things like friends, laughter, honest people, good sex, and so much more. To live instead of to just exist.
More soon!
I didn't really have friends before, so one of the best parts of my new beginning is all of the friendships that I've made. I had known my best friend for about 8 years, in that we'd train for a marathon every summer. However, we'd see each other on Saturday mornings for 13 weeks, and then not talk again until the following July. Now, I bought a house 5 blocks from her and we see each other several times a week.
Here is a view of the bridge that will take us over to Cincinnati from Kentucky, where our hotel was:
Because we had run a marathon, we got to eat a lot of delicious food:
However, my boss (who is absolutely amazing) invited me to see The Indigo Girls with her since she had an extra ticket. We had a great time and though I didn't really know their music, wound up buying their Greatest Hits CD and listen to it frequently now.
I am sad that I didn't keep a record of what I was going through when things were so terrible for me. However, the pain was so raw and so intense that I'm not sure I'd want to have that down in print or to ever revisit it. Now, with distance from an abusive relationship, all I can think is how lucky I was to get out in my mid-30s. That I still had time to find the life that I should have been living -- to experience things like friends, laughter, honest people, good sex, and so much more. To live instead of to just exist.
More soon!
Sad news - RIP Beeps
I'm still alive. Still taking pictures of the parrots, though not as frequently as before. I need to take some time to update with what's been going on.
The biggest, and saddest news is that I had to euthanize Beeps in June. I'll upload some pictures of him -- we had a great last few months as I knew he was ailing. Unfortunately, he progressed to the point where I was torturing him by keeping him alive. It was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make, but I know that it was the right decision, even though I still miss him. I haven't uploaded pictures to my computer since May, so here's a placeholder picture:
I'll post more later about him, as well as about other things that have been going on in my life.
In general, things are great! My job is amazing, I love my house, friends/family are wonderful, my animals love me, I live in what I consider to be one of the best neighborhoods in a fantastic city -- everything is great except for the dating scene. Although, I have so many funny stories, and keep accumulating them, that my friends are begging me to write a book about it. I'll see!
More shortly -- I don't want to clutter this post with too much other than Beeps. He suffered so much before he came to me. I had him for nearly 8 years (not long enough, as he was only 16 so should have lived another decade or two.) He found happiness here, and he made me laugh nearly every day. I miss hearing his distinctive whistle, and his "Pretty baby!"
He's buried in my backyard, under an appropriate marker. I am glad to know that he's no longer in any pain, mental or physical. I miss him every day, but am glad I had the chance to get to know him.
The biggest, and saddest news is that I had to euthanize Beeps in June. I'll upload some pictures of him -- we had a great last few months as I knew he was ailing. Unfortunately, he progressed to the point where I was torturing him by keeping him alive. It was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make, but I know that it was the right decision, even though I still miss him. I haven't uploaded pictures to my computer since May, so here's a placeholder picture:
In general, things are great! My job is amazing, I love my house, friends/family are wonderful, my animals love me, I live in what I consider to be one of the best neighborhoods in a fantastic city -- everything is great except for the dating scene. Although, I have so many funny stories, and keep accumulating them, that my friends are begging me to write a book about it. I'll see!
More shortly -- I don't want to clutter this post with too much other than Beeps. He suffered so much before he came to me. I had him for nearly 8 years (not long enough, as he was only 16 so should have lived another decade or two.) He found happiness here, and he made me laugh nearly every day. I miss hearing his distinctive whistle, and his "Pretty baby!"
He's buried in my backyard, under an appropriate marker. I am glad to know that he's no longer in any pain, mental or physical. I miss him every day, but am glad I had the chance to get to know him.
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