September 21, 2012

I live in a very bicycle-friendly community now.  However, my bike has been broken (disintegrating tires, among other things) for the past four years.  After I moved out, I had always planned on fixing my bike, but I had never gotten around to it -- until recently!

I intended to have my bike shop take a picture of me with my new bike, but I forgot my camera, so I had to wait until I was back home.  I picked it up this evening, which means that starting Monday, I am a bicycle commuter!  One of my coworkers is also a bicycle commuter, and every day he stops by my office to ask if I've fixed my bike.  This has been going on for a couple of months, so he was shocked when I told him that starting Monday, I might see him on the bike path.

I only live about 2.5 miles from work, and I'm just a few blocks away from a really nice bike path that takes me right there, so I am really excited about this development.

Coming home from the bike shop, I forgot how much fun being on a bicycle can be!  I really should be doing much more cross-training instead of always running!  I have good intentions to start weight lifting again, doing yoga, etc., but running is really the only thing I do consistently.  And now 5 miles per work day of biking.

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Just to add a bit of parrot, here's Max, keeping an eye on things.  My apartment building was built around 100 years ago, so there was no such thing as open concept.  That means that even if we're just one room away (here: I'm in the kitchen; Max is in the dining room) she has to position herself carefully in order to watch me.

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I had my third date last night with this really fun guy.  We went to see the Queen documentary/concert movie (which I highly recommend.)  I am very sad that I was never able to see Freddie Mercury perform live, but they did such an amazing job remastering the concert footage that you'd never guess it was filmed nearly 30 years ago.

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And ending with someone who just thinks she might be one of the cutest parrots ever:

Actually she was probably trying to get me to give her a nut!

Max, Partially Upside-Down

One of my favorite things is when Max walks around the house with her head upside down.  I have not been able to figure out why she does it, but it is so adorable.  I only captured it a little bit here, and even then the lighting is bad (more so in the video than in real life) but since it is my blog, I am posting it anyway.

Since it's just been me with the parrots, I feel like I have become that much closer to them, especially Max.

Max's One-Track Mind

Max is a bit obsessed right now. She is very nesty, and wants to hang out in the bathroom, preferably in the drawers.

She was going all night, and I managed to catch it on video:

If she were male, as long as her behavior didn't change, I'd allow this.  However, since she is female, the concern of egg-binding arises.  Therefore, after getting it on video, I removed her and then closed the bathroom door.

Her hopes were up, but I took her away and distracted her, eventually.

Luckily, she has not become more aggressive during her nesty time.  She's almost 11 years old, and this is the first time I can remember that she's been so nesty.  Poor girl.

Morning with Max

The caiques were being ridiculous this morning, so only Max came out.  She kept me company, standing on the ledge by my bathtub, as I brushed my teeth.

I had to leave the bathroom to grab something from the dining room, so she followed me to her stand.  When I asked her if she wanted to shower with me, she declined, so I left her alone on her stand.  I would generally advise against leaving parrots unattended, for their safety, as well as for the safety of items in the house, but I was living on the edge, plus I know Max pretty well, so I left her.

As suspected, by the time I'd finished my shower, she was standing on the bathroom floor, making her sad, come and get me! sound.  I set her on the sink while I dried my hair, and she immediately raced into the drawer I had left open after taking out my dryer.

I took her out as soon as I took these pictures, as I do not want, in any way, to promote nesting behavior.  She nicely stepped up and was back to her normal self after she was out of the dark, enclosed space.

Mid-September Update

Hello my dear blog friends,

Yet again, a month has gone by with very few posts and very few pictures taken. I intend to get back to a more normal posting schedule soon, but I've been intending to do so for months now! In any case, please do not take my silence for despair or sadness; on the contrary, things are great!

I think part of me didn't want to post because Thomas knows about the blog and I didn't want him knowing what's going on with my life. But then I realized that he just doesn't care. It kind of boggles my mind, but it's true.  He is never going to check the blog, because we are all dead to him.  So I can write whatever I want!

During one of the last times I had to speak with him, about selling the house (It's final and sold!) I mentioned that Rocky had been adopted and asked if he wanted to know about his new family, and he flat out said no, that he didn't care.

I'm not sure if this is false bravado after realizing that he's lost the only beings who ever loved him (me, my family, and the parrots) or if he really doesn't care, but I'm leaning toward the latter.  I've done a ton of reading on people with personality disorders, so I can understand, on an intellectual level, what is going on with him, but it's still hard for me to really understand what it's like to live that way.

In any case, after making that realization, I now feel safe to post.

The parrots are all doing extremely well.  My job is more demanding of my time, so I don't have as much time to spend with them as I'd like, but they are adjusting.

Here's a picture of Calypso, when he went from his stand to the plant that was next to his stand.  Luckily for him, it is perch-like as I did a bad job of rotating it so it didn't grow evenly!

Max is as sweet as ever.  She loves wandering around the house, looking for me.  She's kind of like a dog that way.  I figure it's good exercise for her, and since it's just me in the house, I don't have to worry about her getting stepped on.  Usually she flies, so she can land on my arm, but sometimes she walks.

Here she is after a bath a couple of days ago.  My mom and I were painting, and Max decided to keep us company.

As for me, work is going really, really well.  Long hours, but I knew that going in.  When Thomas left us just as I'd finished paying for him to go to medical school, right before he was to start actually contributing to the household, and just after I found out I was losing my well-paying job, I was a bit worried about what kind of job I'd be able to find and how I'd be able to support us, since cheaper places wouldn't allow birds.  I am happy to say that I have landed on my feet.  I will most likely buy a house in the spring, and I can't wait to make it all mine!  And the parrots', of course!

I love our new neighborhood!  I can go weeks without using my car, as I usually walk or take the bus to work, and grocery shopping, many of my friends, and tons of things to do are within a half mile of my apartment.  My bike is currently being fixed up, and then I will become a bicycle commuter.  I can't wait!

I have been dating a bit -- a lot of bad first dates -- I will have to relay some of the stories here in the future.  But I've recently met someone who is a bit promising.  It's still really early on, but we laugh for hours, have tons in common, and he is super good-looking!  And he lives less than a mile from me! 

The last 7 or so years of my marriage, I can't remember Thomas complimenting me.  Medical school, residency, and fellowship changed him.  He'd tell me I was fat (I'm a size 4), or that I was ugly and looked like a man (not true) -- which I laughed off as I thought he was joking.  But now I think that he was serious and trying to make me unhappy because he is a fundamentally unhappy person and misery loves company.  It's so great to be around friends and family that are so nice to me!  I was trying to think of the last time someone was mean to me, and I couldn't remember.  It had to have been Thomas, but it's so insignificant now that I can't even remember the specific incident.

Sometimes I get angry at myself for staying in a bad marriage for so long.  I thought I was happy, and I didn't recognize it as a bad marriage.  Why did I not realize when I was being verbally and emotionally abused?  My therapist told me it was like I was in a one-man cult, and I'm such a happy, positive person that I didn't let it get me down.  But that I have to be very careful in recognizing red flags and acting on them so that I don't waste more years in another terrible relationship, with someone who doesn't deserve me.  I have done so much reading and introspection, and I'm glad that I got out when I was young enough to create a new, wonderful life for myself.

Anyway, by putting this out on the blog, I am hoping to start regular posting again.  I love being able to go back throughout the years and see what I was doing this time of year in 2009, for example, and the future me will probably be upset with the present me for not writing regularly!

Rocky got adopted

Yes, it may seem like a miracle to anyone who knows of him, but Rocky got adopted!

I have been in contact with his new family, and they love him very much.  He is acclimating well.  They also have a yellow-collared macaw, and the two of them (Rocky and the other mini) have been preening each other.  This is fantastic news, as Rocky always seemed like he wanted to befriend another parrot, but the other birds at my house were not interested.

Stella is also doing well -- I get frequent updates from her new family.  She is also very loved and doing very well.

Thomas still does not care about any of us.  The house should sell next week, and then I will basically have no contact with him, which is apparently what he wanted all along.

As for the three that are with me, they are doing very well.  Calypso has blossomed so much, it's like he's a different bird.  Beeps and Max have adapted to having me as their only human.

I know I keep saying that I will post more, but I have trouble figuring out what this blog should be.  Still mostly about the parrots?  (With the loss of Rocky, there is not as much to report!)  Dating in my 30s? (Frustrating, to say the least!) My life, navigating a completely different one than I'd been planning for the past 11 years?

Right now, my three remaining parrots (Max, Calypso, and Beeps) and I are listening to music on youtube and having a dance party:



This song has given me so much strength throughout the ordeal. I frequently repeat lines to myself, especially about how she had to go through so much war to get where she is today.  That is what my life has become.

Beeps marches on

Beeps, beeping around and thinking about getting worked up.  When I whistle like that, I can usually get him to say "Pretty Baby!"  Had I tried to pick him up in that state, there's a good chance I would have gotten bit.

Caique gymnastics

Gold medal performance!

A little Calypso

Earlier this week, I realized that one of my plants had grown toward the sun in such a way that the stem has become nearly horizontal.

Since Calypso was the closest parrot to me, and he is also the most compliant, I put him on the plant and took a picture.  He seemed to like it for a few minutes, but then tired of it and climbed down to step on my hand.

Here he is, eating a strawberry.  Normally, I'd cut it up, but was feeling lazy, so just gave him the entire berry.  Neither Max nor Beeps felt like having any.  As a special bonus, he smelled like strawberries for the rest of the night, so when I kissed the top of his head, I had an olfactory treat!

Out and about

In my new single life, I have been making it a point to try to do lots of things that I always wanted to do, or do more often, but didn't while married.  I am trying to live my life the way I want to, and not the way that either society or someone else says that I should.

For example, I always wished that I could live my life without driving.  Whenever I went to Europe, I loved just walking and using public transportation.  In my new life, I take the bus or walk to work and just drive on weekends, when necessary.

Last weekend, my bus stop looked like a crime scene:

But it was just that a super fun professional bike race was in town (one block from my apartment!!!):

So they needed to make sure that if anyone crashed into the bus stop, they wouldn't be injured.  I saw one minor collision, where someone's pedal flew off, but both were able to stay upright.

I was spectating, and amazed at how many people walking by that I knew.  Great fun!

Then, on Tuesday, I went to a music festival with friends:

The horn player is wearing a Keith Van Horn jersey -- he was one of my favorite college players in the mid-90s.  I have several of his rookie cards and used to have a framed poster (gave it to Goodwill when I moved to my apartment.)  This band is playing at a festival in town next week, so I'll probably see them again soon.

Then, we saw fireworks.  Since either my camera isn't great, or I had it on the wrong setting, the fireworks looked like they were dancing:

This weekend, I have lots planned again. I am sad that I went AWOL from blogging so have not much to remember these past 7 months by (though these past 7 months were so painful and terrible, perhaps it's best if I don't remember them) so I really, truly, am going to try to blog more!