Rocky got adopted

Yes, it may seem like a miracle to anyone who knows of him, but Rocky got adopted!

I have been in contact with his new family, and they love him very much.  He is acclimating well.  They also have a yellow-collared macaw, and the two of them (Rocky and the other mini) have been preening each other.  This is fantastic news, as Rocky always seemed like he wanted to befriend another parrot, but the other birds at my house were not interested.

Stella is also doing well -- I get frequent updates from her new family.  She is also very loved and doing very well.

Thomas still does not care about any of us.  The house should sell next week, and then I will basically have no contact with him, which is apparently what he wanted all along.

As for the three that are with me, they are doing very well.  Calypso has blossomed so much, it's like he's a different bird.  Beeps and Max have adapted to having me as their only human.

I know I keep saying that I will post more, but I have trouble figuring out what this blog should be.  Still mostly about the parrots?  (With the loss of Rocky, there is not as much to report!)  Dating in my 30s? (Frustrating, to say the least!) My life, navigating a completely different one than I'd been planning for the past 11 years?

Right now, my three remaining parrots (Max, Calypso, and Beeps) and I are listening to music on youtube and having a dance party:



This song has given me so much strength throughout the ordeal. I frequently repeat lines to myself, especially about how she had to go through so much war to get where she is today.  That is what my life has become.

Rocky at the rescue

I was up at the rescue yesterday. Rocky was sitting on the lap of one of the volunteers when I pulled up. I'm not sure if he knew the sound of my car, or if he could see me through the distant window from the volunteer's lap, but I was sitting inside my car, window rolled down, when I suddenly heard that most distinctive of scream!

He saw me/knew I was there and started screaming shortly after I pulled in. As soon as I entered the room, he calmed down and started talking, singing, etc.

He seemed really happy to see me, and we went through his repertoire of songs, clicks, clucks, etc.  When I went near him, he did threaten to bite me, but I believe that overall he was happy to see me.

He has been quite well-behaved at the rescue, stepping up for everyone (but me.)  I am hopeful that we will find a permanent home for him soon, though he doesn't seem to mind being at the rescue right now.  There is certainly a lot of activity for him to watch, and he is kept well-stocked in toys!

Updates on all who have been displaced due to my impending divorce

I have updates on everyone who has had to leave my house due to my impending divorce.  In order of their departure:

Stella is doing amazingly well.  Her vets visited her at home last week as they are friends with her owner and they just love her.  She is very lucky to have gone to an amazing home.  She is loved by her owners, by her flockmates (especially the severe macaw!), by her vets, by everyone!

Here is a picture of her on her new kitchen counter.  Isn't she as gorgeous as ever?

Rocky is up at the rescue, but doing really well.  He enjoys all of the activity and rarely screams.  He comes out on his stick and steps up for most people (still not me, though -- I must use a stick!)  He lives next to a female severe macaw, and the two of them have stuck up a friendship through their cages.

He sings, talks, and is having a great time.  What a resilient guy!  I hope to get him in a home soon, but severe macaws are difficult to place, so I'm glad he's somewhere where I can keep an eye on him until we find the right home.

A few pictures:

Saturday

I had a great morning!  I met one of my favorite running partners and we had a great chat for 2 hours as we ran.  I have signed up to do a 50 kilometer (31 mile) race in May, so I need to get out and do some longer distances than I have the past few months to train.  I ran 15.1 miles this morning, which put me at 40 miles for the week and allows for an extra beer with dinner tonight :)  I don't even want to contemplate what my mental state would be without running.

I have been trying to avoid Thomas as much as possible.  I stayed in bed until after he left for his run and I left for mine a bit early so I wouldn't be here when he returned.  Unfortunately, there's about a 0.2 mile section where I would be going out and he would be coming home that we could run into each other.  I mean, what are the chances?  100% in this case.  I just waved to him, as I would any other runner.  He has become someone that I used to know.

Then, I met my mom for lunch and some shopping.  We had a great afternoon!  I had a phone interview for a job yesterday (my current job ends on March 31) and found out that they want me to come in for an in-person interview next week, so I had to get a new suit, which my mom bought for me.  The last time I wore a suit was in 2003 and I'd already donated my old suits, thinking I'd never have to wear one again.  (You know...I put Thomas through medical school and then he allows me to follow my dream of going back to school or working or starting my own nonprofit.  I held up my end of the bargain...)  I also bought another pair of pants since I only had one pair that fit me, having lost weight due to the stress of my impending divorce.

I came home and spent some time boxing things up and getting ready to move more things to my parents' house.  I want to get down to just the essentials here in case Thomas gets violent and I have to quickly leave the house.  That's part of the reason I'm trying to get the animals placed as soon as possible, with smaller, temporary cages at my parents' house if Max and Calypso have to stay there until I get an apartment.

Almost real-time blogging; these pictures were taken about 30 minutes ago.  Thomas is currently out on a date with his married mistress; the parrots and I are enjoying an evening at home.  We hope he stays out until they go to bed and I go upstairs to my room.

Calypso, who does not realize his dreams are about to come true and he will soon be rid of Thomas forever:

Max, who knows something is up and has been extra loving to me in an attempt to reassure herself everything will be OK:

Basil, who returns to his home a week from today.  He loves his owners, so will be very happy to see them again.  The plan is for him still to be willed to me at some point.  I can't keep him now because he's too loud for an apartment, but by the time he needs to be rehomed, hopefully I will be in a house and he can come back to me:

Beeps, who is reacting to the stress in the house by being increasingly aggressive, but just to Thomas (and when he sees the camera, as usual):

I've gotten daily updates and pictures on Stella.  She is doing remarkably well in her new home.  She always seemed to want to befriend Max, but Max was not interested.  In her new home, Stella's grey companion, Ellie, appears to want to be friends, so we're hopeful things will go well.  Additionally, she lives with a severe macaw who loves greys.  When he was at the rescue where I volunteer, I'd take him around with me to greet the parrots.  He'd ignore everyone except the greys.  When we'd stop by a grey's cage, he'd blush a bit and say "hi!  hello!" and flirt a bit.  He's enjoying his little grey harem (from afar -- they don't physically interact, he just talks to them.)

Rocky is doing really well at the rescue.  I visited him on Thursday but forgot to take pictures.  He's housed next to a female severe macaw, and the two of them go to the bottom of their respective cages and interact.  I took him out and he seemed rather happy to see me.  He was talking, singing, and dancing.  He's extremely resilient and will be OK.  He's enjoying the activity of the rescue and I will be involved in finding him a great home.

Thomas has not asked about Rocky or Stella at all and has basically ignored the parrots we still have at home. It's so strange how someone can change so much, or possibly that they were able to hide for so long and then reveal their true self.  He fooled me for years, but now that I look back on things, they weren't as great as I thought they were.  I am doing some writing exercises to understand our relationship and heal.  One was to come up with 5 nice things he'd done for me over the course of our relationship and then 5 upsetting things.  I could only come up with about 3 nice things and stopped at about 32 upsetting things before I realized I was supposed to stop at 5!

I just rationalized and made excuses for a lot of his behavior.  I'm pretty sure he has a combination of narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder, so I'm pretty lucky to be able to get out and start anew.  It's just too bad that the parrots are affected by his behavior.

My friends, both online and in real life, have been amazing.  Even my massage therapist has been calling to make sure I'm OK and gave me his cell phone number in case I ever need to chat.  My mom and I have made tentative plans to go to Europe once the divorce is final (possibly with my dad and sister), and my favorite running partner is going to hook me up with one of her friends who loves to go birding and would like a companion.  2012 is going to be a fantastic year!

Rocky's last day at my house

The day after Stella went home, Rocky went up to the rescue.  I was hoping to place him directly in a home to prevent his return to the rescue, but I was unable to find a place for him.  He was very unhappy at my house with Thomas gone.  He would scream, non-stop, for hours.  It was stressing me out terribly, at an already stressful time in my life.

I had a friend come to my house to help me move his cage.  Thomas refused to help out.  He's basically checked out and has not been helpful at all.  He's the one who destroyed the marriage, and I'm the one who's having to do most of the work now.  It's just unfair and I can't wait until this is over and I can start my new life.

Here are some pictures of Rocky on his last day at my house:

In the carrier, about to leave for the last time:

I heard that he's doing OK up there.  I will be up there tomorrow and I can see how he's doing.  I feel terrible that this is what happened to him.  Once again, he was just supposed to be a foster, and Thomas begged me to keep him back in 2006.  I acquiesced, and now Thomas abandons us.

Rocky's a tough guy, and he's living near two other severe macaws.  I'm hoping that his resiliency will serve him again until he can find a new home.  I will update on his progress, perhaps with pictures.

More Rocky box fun

One of Rocky's friends gave me an extra large shoe box for him (thanks, Strider!)  I threw in a bunch of 2X4 wood slices for him to chip, and he was a very happy parrot.  I still haven't been able to take a picture of him entirely inside a box, but I'm getting a bit closer with this one:

I thought he might go inside, but then he apparently decided that the hole wasn't yet large enough.

When I got home from work yesterday, he'd demolished the entire box and all of the wood slices had been chipped as well.  He had a busy day!

Sticky beaks

Last week, Basil had a down feather attached to his beak.  We joked he was dressing like Santa a month early:

I couldn't figure out which picture was my favorite, so I'm posting three of them!

Feather in motion:

There must have been something in the air, as Rocky got part of Thomas's dessert stuck to his beak that same evening (it's an oat):

Pants macaw

Most nights, Rocky likes to spend some time in Thomas's pants, chipping up 2X4 slices.

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In the comments, Beloved Parrot had asked how the other parrots were taking Brian's demise.  They don't seem to be affected at all.  Last Friday, before I buried him, I took his body around to show everyone, so they could see him.  Stella did a double take, Max and Rocky just stared at him, and everyone else (Basil and the caiques) seemed oblivious to what was going on.

When he was alive, no one ever really seemed to consider him part of their flock.  He didn't call back and forth with anyone, and we were so careful not to allow any sort of physical interaction (until, of course, the fatal accident.)  For them, life is back to normal.  The humans in the house are not yet to that point.

At the rescue where I volunteer, the budgies are in a flight cage.  None are tame.  Yesterday, I was watching the budgies play and enjoying their antics.  Several came up to the front of the cage, intrigued by my presence.  I hope they find good homes.

Consoling

Thomas is taking the loss of Brian particularly hard. He told me today that when we grocery shop, we can cut down on our bread purchase as he doesn't think he can eat toast again as that was something he shared with Brian every morning and it would make him too sad.  He's been extremely morose the past few days, and I hope that he can work through his grief.

The still-living parrots are doing their best to help him.  They can sense his sadness and have been gathering around him more than usual.  A few scenes from last night:

I broached the subject of getting another budgie someday (months or years in the future); showing him some safer cages that I found online yesterday.  It may have been too soon.  He said that he considers this house to be a budgie death trap and that no more parrots can enter this house.  It's going to be a tough few weeks until we can find a new sense of normalcy.

RIP, Brian

Little Brian died tonight.  I am just devastated. When we took him in last December, we thought we'd have a couple of months with him until his tumor took his life.  We ended up having nearly 11 months with Brian.  It wasn't enough, and it wasn't his tumor that took his life.

I came home from work a bit early today as I wanted to see the parrots.  I'd let the larger parrots out of their cages, but kept Brian inside his for safety.  I was on the far side of the room, away from his cage, when Rocky walked in to the kitchen.  He started to climb up Brian's cage.  I made my way, with a stick, to remove Rocky from Brian's cage.  I still don't know how it happened so quickly, but a split second before I arrived, Rocky bit Brian's beak off, through his cage bars.

I rushed Brian to the vet, and was told that there was nothing that could be done.  With larger parrots, they can learn to eat and survive without their upper beak, but that's not the case for budgies.  My choices were to let him slowly starve to death, or euthanize.  I chose the latter.  I still can't believe this happened.

I am killing myself with what ifs -- what if I'd not come home from work early, had done yoga when I got home, not let the larger parrots out of their cages, gotten to Brian's cage one second earlier, taken Brian out and had him on my shoulder, etc.  He'd still be alive.

I did everything I could to provide him with the best life possible, and I turned out to be his worst enemy.  I miss him so much already.  It was so quiet tonight without his cheerful chatter.  I can never own another budgie again, due to the way I failed Brian.  I don't even think I deserve to own any of my parrots, but they are stuck with me.  How could this happen?

I am so sorry, Brian.  We loved you so much and you deserved better.  I will never be able to forgive myself.

Guess what Rocky's doing today?

As I've mentioned many times, Rocky loves shredding boxes.  It keeps him busy and not screaming.  The trouble was, even though Thomas and I run, and therefore change our running shoes on a frequent basis, that still only worked out to maybe 8 boxes a year for Rocky.  Of course he'd get the occasional other box, but shoe boxes are his favorite.

I was mentioning this to a friend who is the manager of a running store, and she told me she could get me boxes as many customers don't want their when they buy shoes!  What an exciting find!

Here's Rocky, enjoying one of those boxes this morning, before I left for work:

I suspect that it will be in shreds when I get home in an hour or so.

I really am trying to get a picture of him inside his box, but as he comes running out to threaten me when he senses my presence, this may prove difficult.  Perhaps I can see if Thomas will be able to get the shot.

In which Rocky talks like a robot

Not sure what he's saying at all, but as Thomas was scratching his head yesterday, Rocky was talking like a robot.

Of course, at the beginning he has to come over to threaten me a bit (half-hearted attempt this time.) This ends up getting him a little too excited, so Thomas withdrew his hand as soon as Rocky started showing signs that he might regurgitate.

Rocky greets me

Earlier this week, Thomas was working late, so I was home alone with the parrots. They'd already eaten dinner, as evidenced by the pieces of vegetable stuck to Rocky's beak. I was in the kitchen with a bunch of the parrots, but Rocky stayed in the living room.

I heard him saying "Hello" for a few minutes when I decided to grab my camera and make a video.

Normally we say "hello" back and forth; not sure if he was showing off for the camera or just hoping that by repeating the greeting, Thomas would arrive.  In any case, I find his behavior once I say "hello" to him quite funny -- he turns his back on me and then says bye bye!

It's hard to hear him, but at the end is another thing we frequently do together -- we repeat "gimme a kiss" and then make kiss sounds.  However, he almost whispers when he says this, so my voice is overpowering.  You can see his beak move and you can hear his kisses (which always start out more like clicks -- the video was getting quite long so I stopped before he started sounding a bit more like kisses.)

Pining

Thomas has had to work a bit later than usual this month, and while it makes us all sad, Stella is probably the one who misses him the most. When he gets home at a normal, more reasonable time, she flies to the fridge when she hears the garage door open so she can be right there when he enters the back door. When he's (60-90 minutes) later than usual, she flies there frequently and makes sad sounds while staring at the door:

I tell her he's coming back soon and try to have fun without him, but she really wants him.

I took this picture about 5 minutes after he got home from work, just after he'd changed out of his work clothes (in case you were worried he wore a housecoat to the hospital -- nope!)  Rocky had walked into the kitchen, so the two of them were standing at the patio door, watching the squirrels.  Both greys missed him, so they flew over and then the four of them watched the squirrels:

Concetrated parrots

All four of these guys have their own cages, in this room, but they frequently all hang out on the stand:

Of course Rocky had to threaten me:

Rocky and boxes

I was a few seconds too late to get the picture I wanted. I had given Rocky a box yesterday morning. The first thing he did was chew an entrance hole so he could easily go inside. When I first saw him, he was completely inside the box. I'd called his name and he stuck his head up through the far right side top. Adorable!

By the time I got the camera, he was leaving the box in order to threaten me by banging his toys against the side of his cage:

Cage sharing

Yesterday, we were doing some bottling in the kitchen.  Our birds who live in the kitchen (Calypso and Brian) were there with us and so were the greys, who'd flown in as they like to be where we are.  Basil was hanging out on his cage.  Beeps was locked inside his cage as bottling is an activity that triggers him to attack us.  Rocky was free to roam around the living room, which usually means he's ripping up phone books under his cage.

What this boils down to is light supervision of the parrots in the living room (Basil, Beeps, and Rocky.)  By "light supervision" I mean that we listen closely for any sign of trouble (Rocky and Basil are notorious tattle-tales; we also listen for any flight) and I go in to check on everyone approximately every 3 minutes.  I must also add that Rocky and Beeps get along and ignore Basil.  I would never trust light supervision with Brian (due to size difference) or for any birds who have shown any problems with each other in the past (Max-Beeps, Calypso-Beeps, Max-Rocky, Calypso-Basil...)

On one of my three-minute checks, this is what I found:

Yes, that's right.  They were both in Beeps's cage!!!  Rocky will frequently spring Beeps from his cage by opening up one of the food doors.  However, yesterday, unlike previous times, Beeps decided to stay inside the cage with Rocky!  They were both happily playing with Beeps's toys!

This is not acceptable.  Even though they get along, I didn't want to run the risk of something happening in a confined space where it would be difficult to easily escape, as only the food door was open.  We opened the main door, as well as the nest box door, to provide options.  I stayed there until the cage no longer had two occupants.

Beeps immediately climbed on the nest box door; I wasn't fast enough to get a picture of him perching on it, as Rocky decided to exit as well, prompting Beeps to take flight:

Rocky on the nest box door; of course he had to come out to threaten me a bit, but then he went back inside Beeps's cage.  We decided to let Beeps stay out, as long as he didn't come into the kitchen to attack us.  He didn't; preferring to go inside Max's cage and play with her toys (Max was in the kitchen with us and does not know about her intruder.)

Back inside:

Every time I'd go in to check on them, he'd threaten me a bit through the door, but then retreat back to the inside of Beeps's cage once I'd left.

About a minute after one of my checks, Rocky started screaming.  Even though three doors were open (regular door, nest box door, food door), he was upset that he was inside the cage!  Due to our policy of parrot personal responsibility, I told him it was his duty to improve his situation.

With an audience, this is the first way he chose to approach his problem:

As soon as I returned to the kitchen, he got himself out of the cage and then walked in to the kitchen.  I suspect he wanted to show me that he knew how to get out all along.

...and so does Rocky

Right after Brian took his bath, Thomas went into the bathroom to shower. I grabbed Rocky and was bringing him in to shower with Thomas, but was met with a surprise: Brian had flown off of the kitchen table and found Thomas in the bathroom. I guess he didn't want to be left alone! So we exchanged parrots -- I took Brian and Thomas took Rocky. I think I got the better deal there!

It was pretty steamy in there today:

He started clicking, and then "singing and dancing" with no provocation.  He loves the shower!

A bit of Rocky

Rocky, who screams when he's locked inside his own cage, again willingly went into someone else's cage to play with toys:

He then came out and started throwing all of the foot toys and toy parts out of Calypso's foraging bucket:

He's gone back to doing one of my favorite things: hanging out underneath his cage.  This is nesting behavior.  This year, in a twist, he knocked a phone book off of the top of his cage and dragged it under so he can shred it.

Last night, Thomas was trying to get Rocky to come out as it was time to go to bed, but Rocky stayed under the cage, singing and talking.  We think he was trying to entice Thomas into his nest, but as it's barely big enough for a severe macaw to enter, a human certainly wouldn't fit.

Thomas was prone on the floor, asking Rocky to come out.  Of course, when I came over to take a picture, Rocky emerged to threaten me:

After he was in his cage, we had more sweeping to do.

Pay attention to me!

Ran a marathon over the weekend, which meant that the afternoon was spent relaxing and eating.  Thomas was in the living room watching football.  I had been there as well, but then decided to go into the kitchen to listen to playoff baseball and catch up on the paper.

Of course, Max had to follow me in.  I think she was a little miffed that I wasn't paying attention to her, as she started doing cute things to make me notice her:

Then, she flew to the table, found a receipt, and started shredding it:

She wasn't interested in this pecan when I'd offered it to her a few days earlier, but when she found it on Brian's cage, then it was interesting:

I brought Calypso from his cage (which is still in the kitchen) to the table so he could roam around.  He decided to perch on my glass:

And then beg for me to pick him up:

So, not much roaming.  Mostly trying to figure out how to get me to pick him up.

Rocky was torn -- stay behind with his preferred person, or keep an eye on his nemesis (me)?  Several times, I caught him on the threshold of the hallway, trying to peek in on me.  You'd think he just would have enjoyed some alone time with Thomas.

More paper shredding from Max:

The afternoon turned out not to be as relaxing as I'd hoped.