Adding a new bird to the house

I received this comment (slightly edited) today:

Today I bought my first Grey. She was once someone's pet, then sold and they attempted to breed her. Now I have her and she's biting the crap out of me. Drawn blood 3 times. I have no idea how to handle this! She lets me feed her- she's gentle at taking food. She lets me pet her head- sometimes- and she's following me around the house and watching me. But when I try to put my hand near her she bites me HARD. I'm being patient and just sitting with her. I put my hand down near the ground and she will come over and because I'm unsure what she's going to do I'll either pull away or just sit there- in which case she bites me. If anyone can give me an insight on what's going on I'd appreciate it. :*( I want her to love me! She seems interested.... doesn't she?

Congratulations on adding a grey to your flock! 

The biggest thing that helps when adding a new bird to your flock, especially one who hasn't had exclusively positive interactions with people, is patience.

Remember that birds are prey animals, and they are not yet domesticated, so they have all of the instincts of truly wild birds.  As prey animals, they constantly worry for their safety.

You mention that you are being patient, and you probably are for a human, but you need to be patient in bird as well!  Many times, we humans want to hurry along our relationships with parrots.  We love them, and they should recognize our good intentions, right?  But if you are putting yourself in the position of getting bit, you need to take a step back and increase your patience.  It's not a race, and taking the time to build a good, solid, trusting relationship now will pay dividends down the road.

Greys are particularly notorious for taking a while to warm up to someone.  Of course, that's a generalization as all parrots are individuals.  But you really need to give her time and space to get used to her new surroundings, evaluate you (to realize you don't intend harm!), and settle in.

Observe her.  Don't stare her down, but notice how she acts when she's comfortable, happy, wary, upset, etc.  Greys can be much harder to read than other parrots (when my caiques are upset about something, even a parrot novice can tell; my grey is much more subtle.)  However, once you know the body language of your particular grey, they are essentially an open book.

Make yourself valuable to her -- talk to her softly, tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her.  Figure out what her favorite treats are, chop them into tiny pieces, and give them to her frequently.  Perhaps think about starting to clicker train her.  Make sure that you are calm, peaceful, and non-threatening at all times.

It sounds like she knows how to step up; she just doesn't want to right now.  Don't force her!  It is a great sign that she is approaching you already -- she just may not completely trust you and may want to step up, but is afraid of doing so.  You will get there!

After living with these guys for over a decade, I truly believe the secret to happiness with parrots is figuring out ways to make them want to behave in ways that please you.  You can't force them to act in a certain way, so you need to figure out ways to incentivize them to do so.

Remember that life with parrots is truly a marathon, not a sprint.  By biting you, she is telling you that she's unhappy about something.  However, parrots rarely resort to biting as their first method of communication.  She's probably given you a few other signals that she was upset -- figure out what those are and adjust your behavior accordingly.

In the specific case you mentioned, what I would probably do is give her a small treat when she approaches you.  Don't try to make her step up yet.  She doesn't trust you yet, so stepping up is not a reward.  If you reward her (small treat) for coming to you, she will start to associate you with good things and ultimately, stepping up on you will be enough of a reward.  But it's not yet.  It may take weeks or even months.  Patience and consistency are key.

Good luck, and please update on how things go with her!

Winter hiking

I went on a date this afternoon with a man who loves being out in nature as much as I do! His degree is in something nature-related, and he works in the local parks system. As I waited for him to arrive at the park, I was treated to three deer walking by the parking lot:

The sky was so blue today, it almost looked like it could be summer.  If only there were leaves on the trees and no snow on the lookout guardrail!  (Oh, summer, please get here soon!  I am already sick of the cold!)

At least the snow is beautiful:

So gorgeous:

And even more so as the sun began to set:

It was so fun to go out hiking again!  It had been a few months since I'd been out, and I've really missed it.  I have made it a goal for 2013 to spend more time on the trails.  Mr. Nature and I have tentative plans to go out hiking again.

We did see two red-tailed hawks circling and then swooping near us, which was fun.  He's more into plants than birds, but I told him that birds are much more interesting to watch!

It was so refreshing to have delightful conversation, and to be with someone who pleasantly greeted other hikers we encountered.  My new beginning reinforces all that I'd been missing out on this past decade!

Clementines!

Winter means clementines, so the parrots are happy! Even though I only took pictures of Max eating the clementine pieces, the caiques enjoyed them as well. Yay for citrus!

Christmas present

I put up my Christmas tree today (first time in over a decade!) Next year, I hope to be in a house and have a larger tree, but this little guy (on loan from a friend) fits perfectly in my apartment!

I'm hoping to get the parrots to pose as ornaments, along with the rest of the bird ornaments I have on the tree, but they are not there yet. For now, I will have to be happy with Calypso kind of posing as a present (but mostly trying to get back to me!)

Lizard yoga

Andreas has been contorting himself into all sorts of awkward-looking positions lately.  Here, it's his back left leg.  I suppose it feels good for him to stretch as well!

Making an appearance

As I've mentioned in previous posts, Max likes to hang out in the bathroom.  She doesn't attempt to destroy anything; she just likes to stand, alone, in the dark.  It is very odd.

Prior to making this video, I had been trying to get her to come out of the bathroom and join me in the dining room.  I called her name, whistled, asked for kisses; nothing worked.

And then inspiration hit.  I put on her current favorite CD, by Father John Misty, and she ran right out, dancing along the way.  Less than a minute in, she got bored and returned to the bathroom.

After the video, I brought her out onto her stand, where she happily played; the bathroom, forgotten.

Bicycle Race

In honor of the Queen tribute band I will be seeing this weekend, Max poses for a picture to represent their song "Bicycle Race" (which I sing to myself every morning as I bike in to work.)

I'll have to see if the parrots will cooperate in reenacting other Queen songs this weekend.  They have no idea what is in store for them!

Spooked!

Sometimes Max gets spooked, and she flies around looking for a safe place to land. She's still not entirely comfortable with my apartment, having lived here only about 8 months, compared to 7 years at our old house.

Last month, she ended up landing on this ledge that I have that surrounds my dining room:

At first she just struck cute poses:

But then she had to pull out all the stops so I would rescue her.  Even though she could have flown to me or back to her stand. (If I put my foot out really, really far, she has to pick me up, right?)  Of course, I did!

Max finds a new favorite artist

Last month, a friend called and asked me if I wanted to see Father John Misty perform.  I had never heard of him, but I decided to go.  Even though it was in a city over an hour away and it started at 10 pm on a work night!  Her friend had canceled on her at the last minute and she didn't want to go alone.

I loved it!  He was such a great performer (I might have picked up some new dance moves) and the music was great as well.  I purchased his CD and have been listening to it quite a bit.  One of the few albums that I love front to back.

I never know what music will strike Max's fancy. Sometimes I need to encourage her to dance, but sometimes she just likes the way something sounds.  She loves Father John Misty! 

Had I thought to take a video at the beginning on the evening, she would have been even more enthusiastic -- I think she was getting a bit tired here:

One of my new good friends works at the organization that comprises the three best concert venues in town, so I have been going to so many concerts these past few months.  I had forgotten how much I love to see live music!  This weekend, another friend and I are going to see a Queen tribute band.  Apparently the lead singer really channels Freddie Mercury.  I can't wait!

I'm alive! And actually fabulous!

Thanks to those of you who have posted, wondering how I am.  It's hard to believe, but in less than a week, it's the one year anniversary of finding out Thomas was cheating on me!

This should have been the worst year of my life, but it's turned out to be one of, if not, the best!  When you're married to an anti-social, emotionally abusive person, reality can get a bit skewed, to say the least!  I never would have left him, as marriage is forever in my mind, so in a very odd way, I have become grateful that he cheated on me so that I could reevaluate and really start living life.

Of course, I really wish that he were even half the man I made him out to be in my mind, or even that he could have given me a small inkling that he was unhappy so we could have tried to save the marriage; barring that, I wish that he hadn't been able to legally steal so much money from me in the divorce, but I am young and will rebuild!

I'd fallen out of the habit of posting, and now I'm sad that I don't have a better record of the past year, which means that one of my goals for 2013 will be to get much better at updating the blog.

Everyone is doing really well.  We've established our new routines, and the parrots (and Andreas) are thriving.

After pretty much never going out during the past 13 years (see: anti-social husband), I've been making up for lost time.  I have plans most nights of the week, and have stayed out past 2 am more times this year than in the previous decade.

My family and friends have really stepped up.  I've made new friends, strengthened old friendships, and just enjoyed not having to walk on eggshells or to attempt to placate someone who was incapable of happiness.  

My running continues to improve.  I again qualified for the Boston Marathon, and several friends and I are planning a trip out there for the 2014 race.  I haven't quite had enough time as I'd like for my other hobbies, but I still try to paint, knit, and read regularly.

Yesterday, I had a very promising first date with a lovely man.  He used to work with a very dear friend of mine.  As this blog is anonymous, I can admit that I spent far too much time convincing myself that it would be inappropriate for me to rip his shirt off in the restaurant. I'm still not sure I made the right decision to behave :)

And now I'm heading off to a friend's house.  She is making me dinner to thank me for helping her move earlier in the year.  The parrots are in bed, and all is calm and happy in the apartment.

More soon, promise!